Ramblings and Burblings

2008-08-16T13:08:00.002+08:00

In need of divine intervention... why can't my life be steady just for a few months... Its constantly crumbling... The foundations were never set.. and its so hard... where do i start... God please help me... Send me an angel..

Set me free...

2008-08-01T15:18:00.003+08:00

Things seem so much easier when we were kids.. but now the heart is so weary and grows tired as days go by... I wanna release all these weights on my heart and hold my head high again.. As we grow older our body gets poisoned with all the greed and corrupt of the world we live in... Can i please have my innocence back...

Television is filled with it is it not? Every sec, every ad is it not filled with scantily clad women? Ok now i'm drifting towards sex and its evilness.... Did it all start with adam and eve? Now we see mnc's using sex to sell and the fact that it works speaks wonders about our world. Scantily clad women making men wanna see more - well thats how our minds works doesn't it.. when we see women dressing up so provocatively what do you really want? you wanna see more don't you and you get the porn industry thriving on this.

Making use of that urge men get and what does porn do.. it has enslaved millions... Some may think that it may be just harmless but it couldn't be further from the truth.. Porn leads to so many other things and reading some articles online i've come to realise that people are suffering and it has become an addiction w/o some people even realising it.. just like that alcholic in that bar,Porn has come to that stage were an addict just needs to get his / her quick fix and goes online and the ease and anonymity of getting it has made it even more intoxicating to many...

I must admit i've watched Porn as well, so well most guys have and i'm really sure if i've met one who hasn't been exposed to nudity and sex... is there someone so pure still out there? I hope that internet providers do more to wipe out the dirt or at least provide more secure ways of surfing the net... i read an article on starhub blocking a couple of sites but there are millions of others and its really not hard to find them.. So i hope they do more..

Well you ladies still wanna be objectified? potrayed as sex objects? =]

2008-07-26T13:54:00.002+08:00

Its been a while since my last emo- posting so i guess i should do one about now.. Anyways my late brothers would have been 19th birthday just passed.. and went down to the columbarium where his ashes were held.. Got him a champagne rose.. hope he likes it.. i really hope he's happier where he is.. watching down on us.. i've never been a good brother and i guess i'll never be.. even to my remaining brother..

Well i guess i've been living in my own world of escapism.. Trying to run away or hide from reality, but the truth can't be further then my own bedroom door.. as i open the door daily i see the picture of my late brother staring me in the face... How do i fight my own demons when i'm outnumbered and being pounded all the time.. Facing up to my inferiorities, i struggle to juggle everything.. Not to mention being overly sensitive in recent times.. So how can i escape it all..Reservist was really refreshing.. getting away to a different world... Thoughts of do i really like army life and whether i should have signed up for this..

So i guess maybe i should blow up the coop and get out there.. or maybe i'm juz to comfortable
right now in this world i've built around me.. i'll juz stick to all those comedies and shows i've been occupyin myself with.. at least i'm happier that way.. An escape from reality?

2008-06-18T12:29:00.005+08:00

Well am sick of Cristiano Ronaldo's antics.. he's behaving like a spoilt, arrogant brat.. well more like a slut...

Apparently he has rejected calls from his own old trafford team-mates and even fergie and has done nothing to give his colleagues, fans any degree of certainty as to where he will be next season... And he whores himself around and continues playing for portugal without a qualm? Apparently he now likes the "white" away jersey of portugal.. Hinting...?

So from prancing pony and diving diva(i love this line =] ) to world class footballer and who has helped him get there? other than havin the potential and natural ability?

Sir Alex Ferguson has spent the last four years transforming the Portuguese prodigy from just another wannabe into the best in the world and this is how he repays him? why does he seem so desperate to jump ship at the first chance he gets? He has more than 10years of playing time left, so whats the rush?

And Real Mardrid the bigger club? Bleahh pls.. they've failed to make the last 16 of the Euro champs league for the last 5seasons? So why would we want a swap inculding some of their useless players?? well one player i would like would be sneijder... =] so 60million + sneijder would be great.. =] then we could add a right back as well and maybe an out and out striker for another option upfront.. without touching the transfer funds for this season.. and offloading saha and silvestre that extra spending power..

Well with 60million i would go for Lahm for right back and maybe Eto, Huntelaar or Berbatov.

Well heres an interesting article:

Here are a couple of questions to test your sporting knowledge: 1. What is the current market price of loyalty? 2. What is the current value of a footballer’s contract?

'His young head has been turned by talk of him truly hitting the heights with Real Madrid. But how much higher does the lad want to go?

If your answer to both questions is either nil, zero, zilch, nada or nothing, then you’re ready for a spot on the local pub quiz team.

Cristiano Ronaldo has once again highlighted the disdain and utter disregard that big-name footballers hold on both issues. Loyalty has been thrown out of the window - along with last week’s engraved Nikes - and the young Portuguese wonderkid proves for the umpteenth time that a contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

It doesn’t seem two minutes since Ronaldo was burying his tear-stained face in the mud-caked turf of the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow in prone esctasy at Manchester United winning the Champions League. This, mind you, only 10 days after collecting his second successive Premier League champions’ medal.

Throw in an FA Cup winners’ medal as well and that’s not such a bad haul in four years, during which he has gradually morphed from a cross between a prancing pony and diving diva to a thoroughbred classic star on the world stage.

Funnily enough, Sir Alex Ferguson and the coaching team at Old Trafford might just have had a little something to do with that embryonic development. Not that you’d notice when Ronaldo is cornered on the subject of loyalty.

His young head has been turned by talk of him truly hitting the heights with Real Madrid. But how much higher does the lad want to go? Does he really believe that Real Madrid are a better club right now than Manchester United? Does he think that the £200,000 a week on offer by the Spanish champions is going to make a life-changing difference to the £150,000 offer on the table at Old Trafford?

He certainly isn’t going to improve his ability by changing clubs. Isn’t he with the champions of Europe already? Does he think life will be any sweeter at the Bernabeu where they haven’t won the Champions League in the last six years and can boast winning the last two La Liga titles only because of the paucity of Barcelona and Valencia?

No, the reason has to be money. And I guess the £6m-a-year contract being openly discussed would tempt any 23-year-old. And of course that would not take into account all his sponsorship deals and - according to his agent - the one apparent sticking point to his continued life at United, and that is Ronaldo’s commercial value to the club.

You may recall a similar situation when David Beckham went to Real from United and was able to negotiate a massive deal that gave him a huge chunk out of the souvenir shop till linked to the sale of Beckham shirts and other paraphernalia on sale.

And what about Ronaldo’s contract with United? It was only last year that he was given a sizeable pay rise for his signature on a new four-year deal. Does that count for nothing?

Ferguson is right to take the Madeira magician to task over his commitment to the club that has groomed him from day one, but it is hardly likely that Fergie will hold the club’s finest player to his contract and go through with his threat to make him sit in the stands for the next four years. That’s a no-win situation for all parties.

But it does raise the question of just how waterproof are the present-day player contracts. If they can be shredded so simply, why all the fuss about negotiating them in the first place? Why don’t clubs settle for rolling 12-month agreements for all their players? Sounds about as successful as the Child Support Agency!

So the big question is: will the quick step-over king realise the folly of a move at this stage of his career and take in all the advice from his mum and his OT mates to stay put? When mum flew in for the Euro 2008 championships a few days ago she told reporters that her son would be staying at United. Whoops! Did she let the cat out of the bag?

What must really be hurting the Old Trafford management team are the not-so-subtle suggestions that United are fast becoming a feeder club for Real Madrid – Beckham, Ruud van Nistelrooy and now, possibly, Ronaldo.

It’s time for Fergie to draw the line. It’s also time for Ronaldo to show that there’s more to his game than glitz and glamour. In other words, it’s payback time.

life and death..

2008-06-15T02:19:00.007+08:00

As i lay in bed i began to ponder as always.. i think that at times my mind goes into an overdrive of unnecessary thoughts.. well i'm not talking about a wandering mind as in lying in bed and having flesh fantasies.. i'm not talking of cannibalistic tendencies here but of naked women.. wahaha... well guys do that don't we.. well at times.. when we're deprived..

well the thing that really bugs me is that death is always on mind.. and maybe i'm paranoid but losing someone has made me look at life in a different perspective.. i know that its hard for others to see point of view, thou some have gone through what i've gone through.. losing someone who is so young and who has so much to live for and losing someone who is old like 60+70+ is something totally different one has lived his life possibly to the fullest and the other yet to unravel the mysteries that lie waiting... but i wonder isn't it contradictory..... is life worth living? living this life, chasing material needs... having to go through crap.. so whats there to look forward to? having a family? more money needed as a result? more responsibilities? i know i may be a wee bit negative here but hey cmon enlighten me.. anyone?

well anyway today i caught a movie and in that movie there was this guy who told a story about life.. and basically the moral of that story was that

" it doesn't matter what you do in life.. but in the end we will all meet the same end.. as we are all here on earth for a brief sojourn... [haha i had too use that word! i juz learnt it.. lol..] but whichever path we choose or decisions we make theres really no point in looking back and regretting the choices we make.."

i would like to build my life around that quote and not regretting my actions.. but it will be hard not to have regrets as its plentiful in my life.. maybe i can cut down like go on a diet? =]

well i guess i'll go to bed now... and as for my dedicated readers.. or reader.. how was japan my dear? i miss you waahaha time for msn games again..! stop appearing offline.!

what is life all about?

2008-06-05T12:23:00.003+08:00

Finally another post from Mr.Shawn.... Well today after having an early morning chat with a friend.. i've decided to blog about life and what its all about.... thou i'm nowhere near to figuring it out as i am still puzzled by its vast challenges and mysteries not to mentioned some of the gifts of lifes... Ermm gifts of lifes? what can that be? the 1st thing that pops into my head is that which pops out of a woman.. a baby.. what are the gifts of life?

i tink that the hardest thing to do in life is to love oneself.. its easy to love others.. but i tink its hardest to love yourself. Would you have need for a relationship with the opposite sex if you can answer your own emotional needs? i think that we seek love from others because we cannot answer to ourselves and that if you can't love yourself how can you receive or give what you do not possess...Do you have the courage to face yourself? to look yourself in teh mirror and love yourself?

i think its hard.. Even what you may say as love becomes ultimately corrupt.... as given by a post from a fellow blogger..

Selfishness in love’s clothing

What we call love is ultimately just selfishness. It is mere chemistry and biology. We see a partner, we think they are attractive, and our body calls for us to reproduce, but wait!

That is too crude. We must have rituals, games, courtship. One must chase, the other must run. We must pick the best mate out of those available. And so the whole game has developed. But at its core, it is just a biological urge, dressed up nicely.

Sometimes, love is about reputation. How good they make you look in front of your friends. How good they make you feel. What they can do for you. How much they earn. Familial love is often seen as purer, and that is true, but often it is just as contaminated.

Other times, love becomes a knife held at their throat. Your father has to provide for you; your mother has to buy you a car; your girlfriend has to sleep with you; your boyfriend has to buy you a ring. Because of that one word, that one corruption.

i took this off wikipedia..

John Major has his own idiosyncratic definition of love.

According to this version, the best sort of relationship involves both pints of beer and sex; a suboptimal relationship has only beer or sex; but love is what is left in the relationship once beer and sex are removed.

Haha great so show me the bed and i'll bring the beers..

2008-04-23T14:06:00.003+08:00

Times have been harsh in fact it is time itself which is painful.. As the secs tick away so does the time i have remaining in my miserable life... or i should say the time that approaches for me to make that fortune of mine..

But its hard to go through daily life when every thought in my head is being filled with negative and sorrowful thoughts.. and its really a handful or more a mindful of shit i have to deal with.... like a friend said i wish i could flush it down the loo but then again if it was only that easy.. almost every other day i see my late brother in head.. breathing his last breath, the things he used to do.. i miss him... but if he only knew.. i didn't try hard enough as the eldest and as the "man" of the house.. i wish i didn't have so much responsiblities to deal with... plus i'm broke as can be...

And as the finals approach, i'm as unprepared as i can be.. I make study plans with people whom i know will cancel with me.. fuckin great if you asked me... why i can't i be as independent as i was once... why have i become so dependent on other people...

And as plans go cancelled once again here i sit, in front of my com as any man no needing any forms of foresight can predict...

what else can i be doing? watchin porn? playin games.? chatting? Reading sports news?

To think 20 days remain for teh 1st paper.. and i've yet to complete even the notes... dunnn talkkk abt teh past year paperssssss i wonder if i have time.......... God bless me.... and the soul of my brother... i miss him...

the only thing i'm looking forward to today would be the barca - man utd match.. hope we go through, thou we always seem to cock up at the penultimate stage...

Why Cristiano Ronaldo finally got his hat-trick?

2008-01-16T15:31:00.000+08:00

Well watch the video and need i say more? ^^ Well for those who do not know what the heck i'm rambling on about well the Old Trafford prodigy Cristiano finally got his elusive 1st hat- trick for Man Utd.. And for the dumb ones..

A hat-trick in sports is associated with succeeding at anything three times in three consecutive attempts..

Etymology of Hat-trick (just for the brain... )
In the Victorian era, the term "hat trick" referred to a common trick by magicians, where the magician used a top hat. At first, they would appear before the audience wearing the hat, which they would remove and put upside down on a nearby table (on stage). Later in the show, the magician would take out 3 rabbits, one after another, from the hat.

How to lose that flab and get that six pack!

2008-01-13T10:28:00.000+08:00

3 Mistakes to Avoid at All Cost
Author:Tom Gifford

If you are working out to develop six pack abs then you need to be aware of the three biggest mistakes described in this article and avoid them at all cost!

First, you need to understand the difference between getting six pack abs and simply losing body fat. Getting six pack abs is a all about having extremely low levels of body fat. For men this is around 8% and for women around 15%. Training and eating to get body fat levels this low is much different than someone who just starts a diet and wants to lose 20-30lbs.

If you are just trying to lose a lot of weight, then making small changes to your diet will help you make a lot of progress very fast. For example, if you were to only drink water, unsweetened iced tea, and green tea, then you will not be consuming any calories from beverages. For someone who just wants to lose weight, a small modification such as this can make a big difference.

For someone who wants to get six pack abs, the process is much more detailed. Here are two mistakes that most people make when they try to develop six pack abs.

Six Pack Abs Mistake #1: They try to do too many crunches and ab exercises.

While crunches and other ab exercises will help to build a stronger core, they will not help you get down to a low level of body fat. Trying to use endless reps of ab exercises simply does not build enough muscle or work your body hard enough to burn significant calories.

The myth of "spot" reduction is where a lot of people get caught up. The concept of spot reduction basically states that if you want to lose fat in a certain part of the body you should work the muscle underneath it. Our bodies do not store fat in one specific place, therefore you cannot lose fat in one specific place either.

I guarantee you will never see someone who has six pack abs in the front and is flabby around the rest of their midsection. If spot reduction actually worked this is what would happen. In the real world however, you need to focus on losing body fat all over in order to developing six pack abs.

Six Pack Abs Mistake #2: Trying to use infomercial ab gimmicks

When you see an advertisement for an "miracle" piece of ab equipment, the people who are using them usually have great bodies, low body fat, and a great six pack. However I can guarantee you one thing, and that is they did not get that way to using one single piece of abdominal exercise equipment.

Like we just talked about with why lots of crunches do not help you get six pack abs, the same holds true for any ab crunch machine or anything else you see on an advertisement.

This all goes back to the false concept that working the abs with lots of exercises will directly lead to a six pack. All the people who have the best abs got them by exercising their whole body and by adhering to a very strict diet. Not by using some ab crunch gimmick for "two easy payments of $29.95."

Six Pack Abs Mistake #3: Eating too many calories.

Sounds overly simplistic doesn't it?

This is one of the most important core concepts that is crucial to understanding how to lose body fat and develop six pack abs. So many people try to eat healthy and still have trouble losing weight. Sometimes they think they have something physiologically wrong with them and their bodies simply cannot lose weight.

Before you fall into this trap and start seeking "miracle" quick fixes, you need to know that not being able to lose body fat is simply a matter of taking in too many calories. If you try keeping a food journal for a week and counting the calories you consume you will be amazed at the insight it will give you.

Even if you eat 400 extra calories a day from little snacks here and there (which is not difficult at all), you will be taking in an extra 2,800 calories per week. For some people, taking in an extra 500-1000 calories per day can easily come from foods that are extremely calorie dense but do not help you feel full. Such foods include bagels, donuts, muffins, potato chips, soda, any kind of fast food, and more.

So before you think that getting six pack abs or simply losing body fat is impossible for you, try taking a few days to really track what you are eating. You will be surprised that losing weight can really be as simple as cutting out small calories dense foods from your diet.

A wise man once said that having sexy six pack abs feels better than the best tasting food in the world. Remember this concept and start taking action today. Good luck!

Man Utd in the hunt?

2008-01-12T11:11:00.000+08:00

Well its been going around for a while now in the rumour mill, the newly dubbed " Van Nistelrooy" is apparently on wanted list at Old Trafford despite Sir Alex stating he will not be sticking his hand into the cookie jar this Jan transfer window... Hunterlaar or the 'Hunter' has been compared to Dutch legends Marco van Basten and Ruud van Nistelrooy, despite the still being relatively young at the age of 24, well ok not tat young but would be a decent acquisition to the Old Trafford outfit already with an array of talent on display.

Huntelaar has managed a staggering 53 goals in just 65 games, for Dutch Club Ajax and if thats not enough to get United fans drooling, Huntelaar is the sort of striker that Man Utd is lacking and out and out type that could work wonders with Rooney or Tevez along side him.

With news of the Ajax clubs financial situation, the fragility of Louis Saha adding to the lightweight situation of Uniteds strikeforce this may be the time to dip into the market for Sir Alex, as a rumoured 12 million pound bid has been seemingly placed.

But isn't a wonder why there are no other clubs linked with Huntelaar at the moment? If you asked me i would rather take on Hunterlaar then Berbatov due to his high work rate, age and i only thing that he lacks a bit of pace judging from his video but then again he is not that slow and i think he would make up for that by placing the balls in the net.

Elsewhere Man utds Angolan Signing has been hitting the back of the net for his country and lets hope his progress continues.. Also Darren Fletcher may be set for an exit.. Well til next time. and heres a video of the Hunter..!

2008-01-10T18:45:00.000+08:00

Some wounds will never heal, no matter how much time it takes...

The scars will remain forever and right now its difficult to carry on.. i am lost within myself.. tears flow uncontrollably at times.. and i know not what to do, where to turn. I have failed you as a brother and as the eldest in the family. Nothing else really matters anymore..

i wish i knew for sure that you're well and resting up in heaven....

but one morning when this life is over i know i'll see your face, til that day i hope you'll be the one who open up the gates of heaven for me... See you again til that one day.. Words can't express what you mean to me, i hope you know but just wanna say i love you loads...

I love you Ryyan..

2007-12-27T11:13:00.002+08:00

Ryyan Spenser
18/07/89 - 28/11/07

Well as some of you may know Ryyan has passed and its coming to a month since he left us... I miss my brother and i would like to say that i'm a pathetic elder brother as i was never there for him, never there to guide him or show him the way... He was a great boy with so much promise and yet he got lost along the way because of idiotic "friends" and now it has lead him to his final resting place... He's been cremated and his remains are in a urn at a church... its been placed in a niche...

i wonder how he is now.. for all the pain he has have been thru... i really hope he is in a better place now... Ryyan had multiple fractures; facial fractures, thigh and his right arm.. and he passed after his organs gave in.. but he was fighting for 10 days... why does god do this? make him suffer? The last thing he did was he had mum's permission before he left us.. My mum said to him"Ryyan if its very painful, then you don't have to suffer no more.. juz go.. we love you.." then his heart rate started to drop and the machines started to beep and he left us.. Somehow how rather i guess he can still hear us but his body was failing and there was nothing the doctors could do..

i prayed for him but i guess my prayers weren't really heard huh? So then tell me what's the point? Does he really hear you? I know it would be a bit contradicting.. If he gets well you would say that he would have gotten well anyways, forgetting God and if he doesn't you blame God..
Sigh so what am i supposed to do at this pt in time.. My life feels crappy.. i wish it was me in that coffin.. at least he and my youngest brother were closer.. i'm the odd one out.. he and my younger brother grew up together.. i'm just a selfish prick who thinks about himself...

My mum has to go through so much in a life, i wonder why he punishes her like that? Are these all just trials and tribulations of ones life? She has lost her husband and now her 2nd son.. so wats next for her God? why does he test us like that? Its just a game huh? the game of life....

I'm so far behind in studies.. i'm wondering whether to pull out.. now my ankle's busted and i dunno when it will be till i can walk again.. hopefully in a week or so.. i really dunno.. doctors say its a sprain but i sure doesn't feel like.. it feels like somethings broken or something..

Ryyan Spenser
18/07/89 - 28/11/07

Thats him on the right, prolly in primary sch.. I wish i can tell him how much he meant to me..
Well i hope you're in heaven smiling down on us bro, and when its my turn i hope you're there to open the gates for me... I'll always love you..

2007-11-24T21:12:00.000+08:00

Ryyan is on the left... please pray for him..

Its gonna come to a week now and as i pen this entry my brother still lies unconscious in the hospital. It pains to see him in this state and i wish i could do more but theres nothing i can possibly do but pray... What did he do to deserve such pain? sometimes i can see tears in his eyes but i wonder if he can hear me or is it the pain he's going through.. i wanna share the load with him... please dear lord ease his suffering and pain, through your grace and will lead him back to us..

We lay in hope that he may awake yesterday but the doctors have sedated him again... His lungs have not been too good, and thou hes been getting better, the progress hasn't been exactly much but something is better than nothing. They might have to do surgery for his lungs n i hope that it wouldn't get to that stage, i'm praying that his lungs get better over this weekend, cause if not it could be a risky operation..

I love him so much if only i can tell him that.. I haven been talking to him either.. i've been so mad at him.. if only he would listen to me... what kinda friends would put someones life in danger.. hes probably the youngest in his stupid good for nothing group and now look at him.

everyones been giving support telling me to be strong for Ryyan and for my mum but how am i to do so? i have to be strong for everyone but what about myself.. ? i don't have an appetite and i can't sleep.. i know i look haggard and stuff but i don't really care what ppl think right now, its the least of my worries....

Another worry is that Ryyan hasn't exactly moved, thou when i was talking to him once i saw his eyelids move.. i hope he could hear me.. He has to be the strongest of them all and hold on and never let go..

i wish i could have been a better brother and i wish that i will get a another chance to be a good brother... i'm so sorry Ryyan that i couldn't be there for you when u needed me but you better get back home and give me that 2nd chance at being that brother..

Cant sleeepppp

2007-11-06T07:12:00.000+08:00

And yet again i'm awake much earlier than required.. by required i mean i have classes at 12pm but here i am awake at 7am? but no excuses this time, cuz the weather has been really good, i would say its a heavy sleepers dream.. its been raining the past few nights and all the way thru to following morning.. and here i am staring at the raindrops as they land on this very concrete floor below me waiting to re-evaporate into the atmostphere.. Aww am i being overly melodramatic? haha... why i can't i sleeepppppppppp? and by the time it comes for me to get ready and leave for school, i'll start to feel tired.. Urgggggggghhhhhhh...

Normally i would blame the sun for bursting through my blinds, cause i don't really have curtains.. i just didn't like haveing curtains.. haha.. Maybe its time for some.. whilst i still can enjoy sleeping and waking up when i want to.. the next time i coould prolly do so is when i retire.. Well if the path of life allows me to get that far.. i certainly hope so... i haven even met the love of my life or maybe shes already left my life.. i guess i screwed up somewhere.. or maybe i screwed up all over the place.. i've been seeing so many mixed couples recently and it annoys me... well i wouldn't say annoy but i wonder why can't that be me... i loved her didn;t i? All those stupid feelings and emotions.. i realli don't wanna open up next time, time to bottle up and maybe be a jerk.. !

Just finished another movie.. Deja-vu, starring Denzel Washington well i think the movies not bad.. at least it helped me kill time.. but if theres a movie u wanna watch i think u guys shld catch.. 1408, i think its a really cool show.. Well till next time.. Adios..

Sex and its evilness... !

2007-11-02T03:10:00.000+08:00

Well this post is about sex, sex and well sex.. so all those who squirm when it comes to sex and pretend to be innocent go away.....

"may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements"

Oh gosh its 3am and i feel so horny.. haha well thinking of all the pussy i could have had or should have had.. don't mean to disrespect any of the female friends i have, cuz i'm one who has the utmost respect for females, thou at times i'm not thinking straight or at least thinking with the wrong head as they would say.. Cant help it... hehe i'm guy aint i?

As much as i would like to say i've had been there done that.. i wouldn't say i'm slut or as some of you might refer to as a man-whore? As much as i wanna fuck around i can't seem too.. Why? I dunno?!? Apparently i'm not as promiscuous as i want to be because its a conscience thing according to someone i got to know recently.. and i think she might be right actually, well perhaps on a certain level.. well according to her, its because of the fact that i'm close with my mum that i have this deep respect for womankind... But can a guy really refuse sex? hehe

Well i can say i've fallen victim to sex and its evilness on a number of occasions.. Once it gets touchy feely and liquids are exchanged then it gets hard to turn back.. but i would say that i've backed out of sex a couple of times.. why? i dunno?

i mean its like i flirt with girls and you know when u watch the discovery channel and hey its the mating season and you see the male doing some mating call and when the female ermm.. agress? then we get to see some action but hey thats not obscene? Well its not like i can refuse a girl when shes on me and ready to get it on... but for the record i have! Anyway its hard to stop when u'r like "hard" but well... =]

Well so i've backed out on sexual encounters probably much to the dismay of guys out there.. who'd be wondering what? this guy gets a chance to get laid and hes backing out? Yeah i wonder why am i actually thinking in situations like that?

So like this are some occasions i've also backed out from..

1) Gal invites me to go to Bintan for a "break"

2) More direct approach from another was to ask me to go to a hotel with her..

3) Invitation to the house to watch dvds? Right i'm sure.. ok wait i'm sure dvds are no harm right? well theres the added info that noone will be home and that she'll be wearing a red thong..!

Somehow i get the feeling we wouldn't have been watchin dvds *chuckles*

Gosh its hard resisting..! I might just have to take the next offer that comes along.. =] So time for me to be the slut i always wanna be..!

2007-10-20T08:20:00.000+08:00

Aloha peeps i'm back and posting like so soon again... anyway went for a birthday party last night.. well it wasn't the kinda party where u wld associate with chicks booze and sex.. haha more like one with lotsa kids, kids and more kids.. haha yes a kiddie party.. The daughter of me mums fren.. a family thats quite close to us...

For those of you who know me well you'll be glad to know that i met someone there last night.. And shes the cutest, and shes gonna be my gf.. Her names michelle.. Anyway heres the pics from the bdae last night.. and i'll point out michelle to you..! =]

Thats the Birthday gal...

And look at the adorable cupcakes!!! I managed to get 1 of the 3 choco cupcakes.. haha or at least what was left of it...

And thats michelle on the left.. The cutest gal at the party.. =]

Am i too old for her?? Sobss =[

Howdy..

2007-10-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

Howdy ho bloggie and to all those who read my blog, including stalkers of this blog.. Cough cough..
Well schools been great so far, nice to be back in school ogling at girls... Glad to clear all my modules thou it wasn't exactly with flying colors.. i guess i shldn't be giving excuses, thou it hasn't exactly been a great yr for me..

Well it seems that i'm almost at that corner where i can put things behind me and move on, but you know me i'm not quite there yet.. i just need a kick up my ass to make me stop reminiscing on memories that drag me down.. i wonder why... How was it that i fell so deep? Got so emotionally attached to someone that it affected my life... So hopefully its a last sprint to that corner and hopefully i don't look back...

Looking forward to dating again, thou i hate the whole process... Ha ha. Thanks Ms Trophy for setting up that date or more like introducing her to me.. thou i don't really know if there would any chemistry between us for that part.. Well but shes hot and i kinda like talking to her so far... =] But i guess this is really the wrong timing with exams and assignments all coming up... I wonder if she'll like me...

So i don't wanna keep my hopes up... I guess just go with the flow, if things happen then they do...

Haha yeap and i would only refer to u as trophy cause i would always forget ur name.. hehe sorry.. I would like always go.. Ermm hey what's her name again?

And woo i finally got off my ass and exercised today.. waahaha but it was only a 3k run.. well my friend said "might as well dun run".... well i think its better than nothing... Slowly i would increase my mileage.. A few things i would wanna do in the next few years... Like complete another 21km and a full marathon.. maybe a triathlon or 2...

Anyway i think i need to get down to my studies.. i've been slacking too much.. so time to hit the books... til next time...

Mr Gorgeous

2007-10-09T09:11:00.000+08:00

<---Hey Gorgeous Host "Lovely Fiona." Ooh la la.. Hot hot Its been a while my dear bloggie... Last night caught the episode of Hey gorgeous on channel U.. thou there were no subtitles to ease my misery.. it was quite interesting esp when jason was on the show for 2secs.. Well now that u'r a celeb do not forget me fren... Fiona Xie is hot as ever and i liked the chick with the permed hair.. she would have my vote.... =] Shes not the prettiest but i love her hair and her smile.. =] shes got a lovely smile.. haha Well i get to see in sch on occasions.. with that kinda funky hairdo its hard to not see her around, if u know what i mean... Anyway i find myself giving advice to people about love and relationships when i myself am like stuck in a hole... I lie to myself and to her that i'm much better but am i really? I find myself missing her so much... It really doesn't help to be strangers but i guess it would not help being friends either huh? Just wanna hold her again, to taste her sweet lips again.. sigh...when will all this feelings evaporate into thin air... I so wanna move on.. Thats what i tell myself but its not what I'm letting myself do.. I really felt that she was my soul mate.. but apparently she felt that relationships are meaningless... and that time is better spent chasing material possessions and furthering one's career and money making opportunities... Money is everything i guess.. perhaps if i was rich? Will it overshadow my race and gimme a better rate of being with her... Right now relationships all seem so transitory, everyones in a rs just for the sake of being in one.. to be able to feel special and loved.. and after a while it all gets boring and stuff but that was what normally happened i guessed but why was it so different for this gal? will i ever feel the same again for another girl? Only time will tell.. I've to get ready soon.. I'll be back soon bloggie.. Ciaoz.. I wonder if anyone reads my blog? haha take care everyone ... Mr Hey Gorgeous With 187 votes.. haha =] My Friend Jason with his 2 secs of fame..

2007-08-13T20:13:00.000+08:00

2007-07-25T16:41:00.000+08:00

Well i'm on the topic of love again... how boring right.. this fake commercialized 4 letter word...
Does it really exist? Its been on my mind and seeing one of my acquaintances nick on msn, i began to wonder again and the so called creative juices or whatever thats left off it began to mix around a bit and i began reminiscing times with her...

I remember how she used to tell me she loved me quite often and it was me who hesitated on replying because u wasn't sure.. and i don't tell a girl i love her unless i really do cause i know that girls happen to remember everything..!

Thou i did tell this one other girl that but it was not to bed her but she was my ex then and her grandfather was hospitalised and in a very serious condition so i told her not to worry and that i'm sure everything will be fine and told her at the very end that i loved her.. and i dunno why i said that cause maybe i wanted to give a sort of a assurance that things will be fine even thou we know not whats gonna happen, unfortunately her grandpa passed on. But anyway she brought it up when we were about to break up.. so see what i mean?

Anyway as for this girl, she was officially the 1st girl that i really felt what i thought was love...
So what it love anyway? anyone care to enlighten me?

I see it as just an illusion, the manifestation of the mind, makes you see someone as the person who completes you.. But is it strong? Well not really its suppose to surpass all boundaries but the very tiniest bump on this road and everything breaks down...

Ok i said i thought that i was in love... So how do i actually put it in words... Well i'll try..

Well i feel like a kuckoo but i'll try..

1st of all to "love" someone you got to like the complete package... by that i mean physical, mental and psychological lvl.. haha i make it sound so theoretical. Basically i think that its the physical appearance, by mental i mean like emotions wise and lastly their personality...

As for her i loved her complete package, she was everything i wanted.. hehe kuckoo in her own ways.. most of all i was happy with her and i know for a fact that most guys always look around for other girls but i think that when you're in love other girls don't matter no more.. you don't tink about cheating on her with anyone... and when you can't see yourself without her in your life and you want to be by her side 24/7... You never get tired of her and her little eccentrics cause it makes you smile and reminds you that you're in love.. =]

I'm guessing all these are just feelings that can be created by spending time with someone... or maybe i've just never met anyone that i could connect so well with on every level...

I'll just keep telling myself relationships aren't everything and i'll stick to being by myself for now.. Life in solitude seems much better... I miss my youth where noting and noone seems to matter... Wish i could just lie with her one last time and forget all the things that have kept us apart...

2007-06-21T10:44:00.000+08:00

Well thou i have been having lots of free time on my hand, i have absolutely no idea what to do... My life is just so mundane... Would love to go soak up the sun... but no way.. its way to hot, its not like i need a tan...

So ideas on how to juice up this life of mine? well i cld go on a wild sex romp! Clearing this vow of celibacy that i've taken on, haha who am i kidding? more like not gettin any forms of sex, even the dreams have been way to dry for my liking.. Is it just me or are the hormones taking a holiday without me...

As for jobs.. Can't say that i've been off my bum looking for one, neither is there a dying need to get one.. thou the ominous signs of a depleting bank account would make it a very good point to get one... I've spent $250 already shopping... Goodness.. and all this before i even make any money...

I would say i'm not really a spendthrift but more of a miser when it comes to spending money.. i don't exactly have much rite now.. cept maybe abt $500 left?

2007-06-20T12:30:00.000+08:00

Found this on football365. Too funny

So many of us ManUtd fans have wondered why Becks and Ruud were sold on the cheap to the only team (other than us) that can be mugged in transfers.

Well, folks the answer is here.

Look at the uncanny connection between the winners of LaLiga and the Premiership in recent years:

2001 Real Madrid-United
2002 Valencia-Arsenal
2003 Real Madrid-United
2004 Valencia-Arsenal
2005 Barca-Chelski
2006 Barca-Chelski
2007 Real Madrid-United

So, Sir Alex realized that since we somehow got paired with Real and not Barca, the only way we could win the Prem was by helping them win La Liga by giving them Ruud on the cheap (and cannily enough, add pichichi and La Liga bonuses while selling). The greatest masterplan of Sir, ever!

By the way, the scum from Merseyside would be paired with Real’s rivals Atletico, that’s why their year never comes.

2007-05-27T09:02:00.000+08:00

Its sad to hear that you're departed this world, thou i don't know you that well. I know that you were a really friendly guy. I guess God has a plan for us all... Its scary to think that it was like just yesterday we were in secondary school playing soccer together and now i hope that you get to rest in peace dude... Maybe one day i'll see u again...

Rest in peace Hash

Life is so fragile, i guess you never know when you're next... and if you happen to read my blog this was the very reason i wanted to be with you, because life is so short and it would be great to spend it with that special person. Guess i was never really special in your eyes, i never really saw all those signs i guess i was naive to believe your words. Gd luck with your life, i'm much happier now, thou at times i can't help thinking about you but its all good... So God bless you and your family, hope everythings coming along fine in your life...

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the most of it without knowing whats going to happen next.

-Gilda Radner

2007-05-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

Econs - C
Maths- B
Stats - B
IBM - D (worse case scenario, hope it ain;t any worse than that..)
Pbf - A(still wishing and hoping for that elusive A)

Well the exams draw to an end finally morrow.. so for now its back to study.. one last burst to the finish line.. results are gonna be kinda disappointing especially for IBM... spent so much time on it.. sigh.. One last hope for redemption lies in PBF, so wish me luck... need to get an A...!

2007-05-09T16:08:00.000+08:00

So the much dreaded econs paper is over... and i guess a pass is quite manageable... Anyway morrow is stats and its back to expo again.. Got only 3hrs of sleep last nite.. quite tired now.. but i kinda overdosed on caffeine so can't seem to sleep, so here i am blogging... Anyway not gonna blog too much just wanna set some targets for the finals.. So hope i can acheive this or hopefully with a bit of luck better.. haha.. fingers crossed..

Goal:
Econs - C
Maths - A
Stats - A
Pbf - A
Ibm - B

Haha and yes i just remember something that happened last night while i was "mugging" it was about 3 am and i thought i had enough, so i was feeling abit hungry and i opened the fridge thinkin i would end the studyin with a light snack of whatever there was in the fridge.. and ironically guess what was the 1st thing that caught my eye...

Don't sleep shawny boy.. continue to MUG...!
MUG MUG MUG...
well until next time.. cheers...

the Gallows beckon..

2007-05-05T18:25:00.000+08:00

Exams are coming... And as zhi Sheng would put it we'r heading to the gallows... Wish there was more time...

Anyways it seems of late that i keep having misunderstandings with this friend of mine.. i really wonder why? Now i find it really awkward but she thinks that i'm thinking too much.. i guess thats the way she handles things... Another friend of mine said we were probably enemies in our past life, thats why.. haha : ] The thing is i thought we got along really well and now all of a sudden its like quite the opposite... sigh

Its like i wanna help but sometimes i think maybe i'm too helpful and too nice to people... So maybe i should be less friendly and talk less... but our last misunderstanding talking less was the problem..
The thing is for me whenever i have any sort of argument or anything with anyone i like to clear the problem as soon as possible, but with her it doesn't matter and she thinks nothing of it.. but whereas i tend to dwell on matters.. like i think where did i go wrong..

Weds is the 1st paper and thats Econs... And i'm no where near finishing my revision.. i still need to start on my examiners reports...

In need of divine intervention...

“Do you like what you’re doing right now?”

2007-04-27T10:37:00.000+08:00

“Do you like what you’re doing right now?”

Seems like a simple question, but it’s not so easy to reply to…

Well can’t exactly say i love what i’m doing.. But what beats being a student right? i’m still a student, but i ask myself what exactly am i studying for? for a better life.. so will getting that piece of paper give me a better life.. well that remains to be answered.. i would probably start of with a mediocre salary and then what? It’ll be day to day work and back home? Is that the life i want?

What do we really want? Doesn't everyone of us dream of being financially free? but how many of us actually take that step forward? Or are lucky enough to be blessed with looks that will get us 5 to 6 digits of endorsements every now and then... imagine getting 5 to 6 digits to do nothing but just hold that product and grace the advertisement with your mere presence... Showing that bit of cleavage to entice the male population and get their tails wagging and believing that this product will make their gfs look as good as what they're seeing.. Some people work their asses off but will probably never live to see a 6 digit amount in their savings account...

Dreams of being financially free is so much a dream right now.. hope i can make that step forward.. and not leave it as it is .. just another dream.. :]
So anyway its back to studying for me, exams coming up in 2 wks time...

Anyway thats all for now... Would like to hear what you people think so do let me know..! ciao...

sadasd

2007-04-24T08:08:00.000+08:00

asdasda

Some guy wrote this and I thought it was worth reposting.

2007-04-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

Dear Girls (from us guys)...
Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do.
It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting with guys we've never heard of.
Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends.
We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them.
When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous.
You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust.
On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room.
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Smile and say "thank you."
Let us pay for you.
Don't "feel bad."
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say - everybody together now - "thank you."
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
Don't flirt with guys when we're not around.
We'll find out. Trust us.
We have eyes everywhere.
And when we find out, we're pissed.
Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with you.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hot Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"?
Why does everything have to be "hot/sexy"?
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of.
Claiming girls or guys to be "hot" shows immaturity.
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change.
Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-popul
ation ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

2007-03-14T00:16:00.000+08:00

Well its been a while since i blogged and i noe i've been a emotional wreck all these while but a friend woke me up... Thanks for the wake up call...

I figure that life is too short to be moaning about one person when theres so many others out there whom i love... Theres 2 ways you can look at it, that life's too short and that u wanna spend it with that special person or life's too short and spending your time trying to get that person back is just a pure waste of your time and even more heartache...

I've never let myself get so low before and i thought that the lowest i could go was when my dad left me... But this girl brought me to a new low, well i dunno how i let myself suckered in.. Looks like love is just an illusion that blinds you, does it really exist?

Anyways back to the advice my friend gave me.. My friend was telling me about her uncle who just got his both his legs amputated... It was like on fri he had 2 good legs and on sun he had none and found out that he had cancer and didn't have much time... See life takes a twist for the worse all of a sudden... Today i could be typing this but next week i could be dead... I guess thats life for you...

And theres this other guy whose girlfriend left him for his good friend... so he killed himself by suffocating himself with CO2 in his car... but tell me what good would that do? Killing himself only hurts his parents and his sister and he had it all gng for him... he was smart and rich...
So would his friend and ex gf feel hurt? i bet they would but are they gonna break up just because of him? well that i dunno but how long will their hurt last compared to his parents?

I would certainly not kill myself cause i know that i cannot abandon my mum... Its not an option, killing yourself, its just selfish and a stupid way of taking care of your problem... cmon be smart and theres always another way...

Don't let someone bring you down.. Even when you think that he or she may be the one for you and it turns out that you get cheated and feel like a dumbass... well i certainly feel like one.. but i feel much better now i guess, i hope...

Well take care people and treasure what you have cause you know not what tomorrow holds...

I'm begging you please....

2007-02-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

Cause I love you still,
whether it’s right or wrong i can't feel,
And though I can’t be with you tonight,
just know that my heart is still by your side...

If i'm not made for you then why does why my heart tell me otherwise?
I just wanna crawl back into your arms, watch the stars followed by the sunrise...
Is there any chance that you'll take me back into your arms?
I'm begging you please....

We never even had a chance to say good bye...

2007-02-03T00:27:00.000+08:00

Another day ending with me being emo again... Feel so dejected and lonely... No one to share my pain with, why isn't she here by my side? when she promised to be with me forever... I' ve cried a river for her and i told myself i'll nvr tear for her again, but here i am once again.. crying like a baby... juz wish i can fast forward this pain..

3rd of Febuary... would have been our 1 year anniversary... well would have if not for my damn race...

Gd nite world ... Sometimes i wish i could sleep and never wake up again... But i can't, theres a huge burden on my shoulders.. My mum and my brothers.. i can't leave them like my dad did.. i need to take care of them...

Wish i could have one more day with you... We never even had a chance to say good bye...

Hit the road jack..!

2007-01-29T15:15:00.000+08:00

Its time to reminiscing on the past and to look to the future.. I find myself trying to help people with their relationship problems when i myself am in need of divine intervention... : ] But i'm doing much better now... Deep inside me my heart aches but i know that i'm moving on, as time moves by the aching lessens and i guess the key is not to be alone... I admit that i teared at times but i see nothing wrong with, whats wrong with crying? Does it make you any less a guy? In the past i'm one for suppressing feelings and bottling all up, but since this relationship.. i don't know whats with the emo-ness... I guess she left me with overflowing with emotions.. :]

Anyway focus is not on gals no more.. just wanna concentrate on my books..Doing well so far, alls good.. prelims are due to start next month and the 1st paper is Ibm on the 12th of feb.. hope to score well and at least gauge where i stand, spent alot of time on this module and lets see if its worth it...

Cool Art...

2007-01-27T02:51:00.000+08:00

Stumbled upon this artist whilst i was blog surfing and well i would say his art is quite interesting... So check it out... Very orgy-istic kinda orientation...

But i think its quite cool... Here are some pictures i got off the site..

Do check out the site for more pictures and Bio..
Michael Bilsborough

Cheers :]

What's the point of being socially ettiquete?

2007-01-24T05:19:00.000+08:00

Hmmm a friend of mine got me wondering... Well actually not a friend more like an acquintance, a pretty one... hehe Just for the record this is probably the longest i have ever gone unshaven, like 2 wks or so and everyones gng arnd calling me stuff like Whats up Robinson Crusue or Castaway the movie starring Tom Hanks... When i finally decided to shave today, even my shaver was crying out for me to stop, for it was really hard to shave...!

This friend of mine told me that i have to shave because its part of being socially ettiquette or she actually said it more like social " ettiqueccy " don;t know if there is even such a word! But its like i have been so down that i don't really give a f*** of what society thinks of me, but i'm feeling much better now.. is it the drugs? Or is it just me?

The way i see it is that when someone wants to look nice its just that he cares what other people think about him, i'm one such person and i think most people are... Everythings just a big facade,
people wanna fit in and stuff... I guess its the way the world works...

Anyway the beard is off and i'm thinking who's this good looking guy in the mirror? Haha or so i think... I'm wondering why am i listening to this girl ?

Is is because shes just another pretty face? I have caught myself looking at her so very often in classes, that is whenever she sits within my viewing capacity, i hope she doesn't notice me looking at her... :]

And just to make it clear.. i'm most definately not the only guy that looks at her.. the 4 musketeers called her "eye candy" b4 we knew her name.. and i've seen other guys checkin her out as well.. haha

Shes attached by the way, not that i'm interested or have a chance but i don't wanna be thinking of love again, i just can't, not anytime soon... I'll just stick to having good friends for now... :]

So enough of the anemic looking me, i'm now clean shaven and i'm gonna get my hair done, as in i'm gonna get a cut and probably get it highlighted.. always wanted to do it so here i go... But still wondering whether to keep it long or short... Hmmm

i'm still thinking abt you everynight b4 i go to bed... I hope you are safe & well and that you are happy and i hope that whoever you may be with, that he loves you unconditionally....

Your wordsmith signing off...

Whatever will be, will be..

2007-01-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the 20th of January, the day that i met her... Well it would have been exactly one year since we met, but now it looks very likely that we'll never see each other again. Its funny how everything turned out.. well you can laugh if you want to...

A few months ago we were like a couple of lovebirds that can't seem to get enough of each other but now its just me yearning for her, well yes i'm the fool who got suckered into the pit and now i can't get out... Haha am i being melodramatic? yeah i would say so..

But realli why tell someone how you feel about a person when you know its gonna go nowhere? For guys i understand you wanna get her panties off but girls? Whats it all about?

Right now i'm dillusional i would say cause i can't tell anymore what she really felt, part of me feels that it was all a lie but the other half tells me that it was all so real but why treat like that now? Love is suppose to surpass all boundaries but something like the colour of my skin and thats it? Adios? don't call me cause i can't handle it ? Whats that all about?

I'm doing my best to get past it but apparently it's not good enough... Just wanna get over it as soon as possible exams are coming and i'm in deep shit... Been skipping classes too... sigh..

S.O.S

S.O.S

2007-01-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Well i'm bored with life so heres something to add to that tiny brain of yours... Well you've heard of the word S.O.S probably like a zillion times but ever wondered what it meant, or where it came from..? Well i just did and so here it is the answer to this little acronym...

SOS is the commonly used desciption for the international morse code signal. Its a distress signal if you don't already know, which was first adopted by the Germans. "Wireless Telegraphy".. looks like wireless technology was already in effect back then.. : ]

From the beginning, the SOS distress signal has actually consisted of a continuous sequence of three-dots/three-dashes/three-dots, all run together without letter spacing. In International Morse Code, three dots form the letter S, and three dashes make the letter O, so "SOS" became an easy way to remember the correct order of the dots and dashes.

In popular usage, SOS became associated with phrases such as

-Save Our Ship
-Save Our Souls,
-Survivors On Ship
-Save Our Sailors

However, these phrases were a later development, most likely used to help remember the correct letters—something known as a backronym.

2007-01-06T17:24:00.000+08:00

Sigh keep putting off from doing my assignments.. One due on mon and one on weds... Its like i'll never get down to it, tend to keep on procastinating... Well i have time on my hands but look what i do i'm on the net, playing games etc... Now i feel sleepy even .. ZZZzzz

Anyway going to be a guinea pig again next saturday, down at Pfizer, for about a week or so.. now that i basically have no income have to resort to such means again... My job as a cook has been a short but fun experience thou, you could say it was fun while it lasted... Learn plenty of things about cooking and stuff... Maybe one day i'll open a bistro or something.. haha one day... Now its like the f&b industry is like a little too saturated and its not like i have the capital to invest right now. Can't wait for my cheque for the drug volunteering to come in prob like 2wks or so... Yummy sounds like shopping to be done haha... My shopping buddy is no more... but i guess there are other ppl arnd, shldn't be fretting over this...

Anyway here are some pics from my short experience as a cook..

Arrangement by me :]
its all abt the setting haha...
Prawns, salad, salmon and theres more... lobster, crayfish, oysters, mussels, clams...
Yummy Yummy

Lining Up the prawns...

Mysterious object crashes through roof...

2007-01-05T11:02:00.000+08:00

A metal, rock-like object about the size of a golf ball is seen in this undated photograph provided by Det. R. Gelber of Freehold Township Police Department in Freehold Township, New Jersey, Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2007. Nobody was injured

"It's not all that uncommon to have rocks rain down from heaven," said Carlton Pryor, a professor of astronomy at Rutgers University.

Well oh yes i see rocks flyin through my house every now and then... !?! Just one of the articles i came across... Hmm interesting wouldn't you say? Sounds like Kryptonite to me... haha

Universe is so huge wonder whats out there...

Well time for my daily diet of pasta... til next time.. Adios

2007-01-02T20:10:00.000+08:00

1st entry of the new year.. hmm

Well life for me is not over i guess since i'm here blogging abt it.. i'm going though a very bad spell of depression... i'm doing things that i myself deem crazy and yet noone noes abt it.. i can't really say so as to not worry my "friends " out there.. well guys i'm ok so yeah and i'm definately not looking my best rite now either... Dunno whether to blame it on the festive period, my depression, lack of exercise, lack of proper sleep the constant headaches i've been getting haha maybe everythin... or yeah and not to forget the runny nose i've been having plus the recent spade of diarrhoea... And to top it all off my skins having volcanic eruptions, i'm breaking out quite badly... Gotta snap out of it la... With the new year and everythin i promise myself not to get upset over her anymore, but i was at it again today.. sigh... :[

Haven been studyin over the past few days but hope to kickstart it morrow... but i dun feel too good shld i skip school?

New year...

2006-12-30T01:21:00.000+08:00

Wonder what the new year holds for me.. one thing for sure is i'm hoping theres more money involved, as in not things for me to pay but i hope whatever it is my bank account swells up haha and not vice versa :] well money is the root of all evil so what? i'm evil so give me more i say...

What i need in the new year is just money i guess, don't require anything else... i'll give love a pass, never had any luck in it anyway... Unless she makes a u-turn and comes back to me which is highly unlikely i guess, i've tried i guess in vain but i got to talk to her one last time and i regret not saying much but i didn't wanna hear her cry or anything, her last words to me were ' merry christmas'. I'm just happy that she called me i wish we could talk again.

Anyway i'm gonna come up with a bunch of resolutions for the new year so watch out for them haha : ]

Hmm i think i'll just add them here

New Year Resolutions :

Have a balance of 10k by end of the year. $$$ keh Ching, keh ching !!
Get back my six pack with hard work... i'm getting fatter by the min.. :[
Get amazing grades..
Get her back in my life being friends.. :]
Spend more time with my mum...
learn to cook more dishes and deserts...

Thats all for now...

Boring christmas..

2006-12-26T10:46:00.000+08:00

Well christmas was boring... a few frens came over for dinner at my place, juz to chill and hang out... hahaha...

Anyway wanted to play soccer today morning but it rains.. sigh... At least theres Epl later, Man Utd against wigan... Go Devils..! Hope Ronaldo bangs in more goals today..!!

2006-12-25T01:36:00.000+08:00

Didn't wanna upset you, but i guess i have that effect... I can't help it i still feel so much for you and yet it seems that the only possibilty is to be friends with you.. but what will friendship hold for us?
will it have the possiblity that maybe one day i can be with you again?

I'm glad that you liked the gift but i never expected you to cry... I wish i was the same race as you la girl but i guess theres nothin i can do... Shld i go for a Michael Jackson kinda op.. I guess i can understand why he did it.. So he could be accepted by the white folks.... So should i change the colour of my skin to be accepted?

Anyway its christmas, lonely christmas... If only i could spend it with you... If only...
Merry Christmas and a Happy new year to all...

A new year, hopefully a new start

2006-12-18T15:48:00.000+08:00

Well new yr is coming and i'll probably be all alone... Haha remember telling her we would do the chalet thingy again come end of year but i guess thats not gonna materialise... Anyway loneliness sucks, i'm not the partying type either unless u can get me drunk then i'm a different person, talk about split personality...

Wish i could spend the new year with my dearly beloved... Juz hangout and cuddle with her through the new year watching the sunrise and everything but i guess she has someone to spend it with.. :]

Well i hope the new year brings about great things for me and hopefully i can find the motivation and drive to push through and get good grades... Happy new year and a merry christmas to all...

snapping out of it

2006-12-14T21:22:00.000+08:00

sigh i think i'm finally beginning to snap out of it.. been doing some fruitful studying of late and well alls good i guess.... i still miss her but thats that... Hoping i can meet her one last time but well i dunno if she'd want to ... maybe one last dinner together thats what i'm asking for and i would like a couple of photos together with her cause well the last 8 months together and we've not taken a proper photo together... ahaha and i dunno why but i never thought to do so cause i guessed i felt it'll never end but hey guess i was wrong ... anyway i'm off to cook dinner.. pasta anyone?

2006-12-08T13:25:00.000+08:00

I can't hide behind this fake face that i've been putting on for long, i can't do anything til i have her by myside... i wish it was that easy... Why must she go? i would never have left her like that, i'm suffocating here... feeling all cheated and lied to...

Was it all pretence, just a show? I'm still holding on to the hope, to the chance that we might have better days together again... Its just a dream... It all feels like a bad dream, which i'm not waking up from... Shes been running through my mind every single day and theres not a day that goes by without thinking about her... what can i ever do to help myself... Move on? well easier said then done...

More bitching and moaning...

2006-12-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

Well how shall i put it... theres one thing i realise that if the person you loved so much and you thought loved you back, hurt you so badly then why do you need enemies let alone friends? what are friends for? Right now i guess i'm at a point in my life where i'm wondering, do i even need friends? So when that one fine day, where i cease to dwell in this place we call home would i really give a damn about who goes to my funeral? well who gives a flying fuck... Why have funerals in the first place? everyones gloomy and shit just bury the person for gods sake, or might as well just incinerate his dead ass off the earth and save the space... You wanna memory keep a freaking photo why do u need a tombstone? if u realli need one then put it by your bedside... use it as a freaking table if you will..

I love her i really do, i don't care if people say i should move on and look for other gals and that i'll find someone better.. well i might but i just wanna be with her.. maybe i don't deserve her, no theres no maybe, i don't deserve her i'm just a loser with nothing in life... since everything is judged on materialistic possessions then i have nothing... I don't own million dollar assets, i don't have a 5 digit salary, i don't even own shit in fact i'm probably in debt in this god forsaken land...
Well i guessed it just hit me as i was blogging this entry, i'm quite pathetic in fact... I guess thats why you left, since you never gave me a proper reason other then citing my race, i guess thats it then... i'm nobody, nothing in life...

Yes they are twins....!

2006-11-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

BEAUTIFUL twin sisters Alicia and Jasmin Singerl certainly make people look twice.

Alicia has dark brown eyes and complexion, and Jasmin is blue-eyed and fair-skinned.

Experts say the chance of twins being born with such different physical characteristics is about a million to one.

The sisters from Burpengary, north of Brisbane, were born in May.

Mother Natasha Knight, 35, has Jamaican-English heritage, and their father, Michael Singerl, 34, was born in Germany.

Genetics experts say that in most cases a mixed-race woman's eggs will be a mixture of genes for both black and white skin.

However, much more rarely, the eggs may contain genes for predominantly one skin colour.

In this case, Ms Knight has released two such eggs - one with predominantly dark pigmentation genes and one with predominantly fair genes. Non-identical twins are conceived when two eggs are fertilised by two sperm at the same time, which has odds in itself of about 100-1.

Anyway i think that they are so beautiful, if only people can look beyond the colour of ones skin to see how beautiful one is... mentally and physically... But unfortunately the world is not quite there yet on this aspect, so Alicia is bound to be subjected to racism at some point in her life, and wish that she is white just like her sister... Well i guess thats life for you...

2006-11-28T02:03:00.000+08:00

sigh... its almost 2am and i'm still awake thinking about her... boy i miss her and shes probably with some other guy now... talked to one of her frens but she didn't wanna tell me if she was seeing anyone but by not telling me its like quite obvious or maybe i'm just being paranoid, i've always been this way. Anyway its been 3months so she's probably moved on from me, i probably meant nothing to her anyways but why didn't i see it coming. she always got me to be optimistic and always got me on my way even me continuing my education was thanks to her, but also because i wanted to do well for her, so i could be with her but all this doesn't matter now.

i mean it doesn't matter to her how i feel for her, nothing much just that she means the world to me. so i guess its like she brought the world tumbling down on me. I wish i could hold her one last time and tell her how much she meant to me i would never let go ever again... never ever..... Why oh why must the world have people classified into races and colour its like so unfair that love can fail because of such a dopey reason... And of all people it has to be me... I feel so lethargic and tired... I have a bloody test morrow and i couldn't even get down to studying... what am i to do? i'm probably gonna fail morrows test.. well gd luck me... and gd nite cyberspace.. i'm gonna try to get back to sleep...

Would it be the same?

2006-11-24T10:05:00.000+08:00

As i sat there along the stretch of clarke quay, awaiting my colleagues as they prepared to leave, i couldn't help but notice... Many asian woman with white guys, its not that i'm feeling inferior or in anyway racist or anything i mean why should i? They come here steal our jobs and while their at it they go for the woman as well.. wow, just wonderful... And the thing is the asian woman are probably gonna get hurt or at least that's what i assume.. haha cause some of them probably have families and most are just out on the prowl... i guess most guys are like that or maybe all.

Anyway back to my problem sitting there i couldn't help but think if i were white would it be a different story? Would her parents accept me if i was a caucasian guy, instead of an indian guy? I know talking about races is all taboo and everything but i'm not slandering any races out there... They didn't even give me a chance or maybe she didn't give me a chance, give our love a chance, not like she was fighting for our cause... Or maybe it was all a lie, just a damn bloody big trap which i fell into and tore my heart wide open.

I'm now wondering how the bloody hell i've fallen so deep into this, cause for me it was hard committing to anyone, let alone trusting someone so much. Lets just say i've had a couple of bad experiences... So i guess all those times you told me you loved me was just throwing bullshit, pure crap at me. Well love you too dear...

Fcuking pissed off...

2006-11-18T17:12:00.000+08:00

Well fucking pissed off right now... I've decided to boycott the freaking wedding.. i dun give a rats ass... My dumbass maid has spoilt my levis shirt the one which is one of my fav tops... I hate her... i feel so damn pissed, feel like asking to pay for it... but well i can't do that i guess...

A bloody big stain at the bag of the shirt i wonder wtf she did to it... Why must they always spoilt my favourite stuff... And what pisses me off the most is when she said that she never touched it.. so was i the one who washed it? maybe i shld juz do my own laundry... sigh

This was also the shirt that i wore when i met my dear Ms C, at zouk.. haha i remember so well, it was also my company's d&d that nite at the hotel beside zouk i think its called the grand copthorne... and it was a last minute thingy that i decided to go clubbing... It was cuz we had invites so i guess i'm kinda what you would call a cheapo hehe : ] anyways fate i guess brought us together and well i guess it tore us apart.. i wonder what shes up to right now? Just wish we could keep in touch.. i guess its my fault, i couldn't let her go and i guess she felt stifled...

P.S: can anybody help me with this stain?

Time cures it all... doesn't it?

2006-11-13T19:06:00.000+08:00

I guess as time flies you tend to forget about the heartache that you've been through, so everyday i think less of her... and as time goes by i hope to just remember the good times we spent together and forget this irritating feeling that has troubled me since she left. I've to admit it sucks and to think that i've done this to other girls, maybe its just karma hitting me back. Well karma fuck you and all your little buddies...

Everyones busy, with their own lives ... All preparing for their exams and stuff but mines like next year. As Nageb would put it my mighty mouse degree is gonna be a tough ride, maybe i should have taken another course... Probably a mickey mouse degree... Well PBf is a blur and econs is right around the corner... Maths and stats are ok thou i seriously need practice and ibm is much like history and theories alot of key concepts to get processed and stored in my ever depleting memory. Well i have to do well...

Adios blogger, til next time... Time to hit the sack... Errm i mean books
Miss you dearie... :[

Is this really the end..?

2006-11-09T18:40:00.000+08:00

Is this where it ends?

Til i find you back with me,
beneath all these walls you've put up is my love that'll set us free,
would you still be here with me?

i'm here beggin for yr reasoning,
something that i guess i'll never be getting,

Did u luv me anyway?
i fail and falter since you've been gone,
i feel like i'm always falling down,

when i call ur name,
u'r not here to ease my pain...

P.S:If you read this, baby i still love you and i all i want is to be with you.. but if that is not possible then all i ask is to be frens again...Please don't shut me out cause it hurts so bad.

Hit the books..

2006-11-07T19:10:00.000+08:00

Well so been busy with school work and mugging... I'm pretty sure if i put in more effort then things would be a breeze, thankful for the company that i'm mixing with is not as slack as some of my poly mates haha :] no offense dudes... But well maybe it's just me... I guess i just wanna do really well and be able to finish this 3 yrs on a high note, with or without you. I feel like i was a mistake in your life, was i really?

Anyway got acquinted with "eye-candy" today... haha :] boy shes really pretty, i was like man shld i talk to her!!! So i borrowed a little courage from my two friends down there and said hi and we ended up gng to school together... Well looks like i got a new neighbour cause well she lives next door, as in the next block.. Ha ha shes attached if i'm not wrong not like i stand a chance... heh anyway i'm too depressed to think of relationships right now i just wanna stick to my books from now i guess and if love decides to come around then we'll see...

Anyway Ms C i hope you take care and all the best, if you really want it to be this way then i can't do anymore, i really don't know why you're behaving the way you are...

Anyway back to books, test coming up morrow...

Study,study....

2006-11-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

Well quite tired today, spent the whole day studying in school, started at abt 2pm - 8pm..then went for dinner with jaydon and joshua at a foodcourt at clementi... We decided against the artery clogging macdonalds,well actually it was more like me,i'm starting to get fat : [ ...

Well i guessed being buried in books will be better for me as it helps to keep my mind from straying but sometimes i can't help but wonder does she even think about me? anyway i've got loneliness for company so who's complaining... anyway does anybody wanna watch the movie departed with me?

Back to studying morrow,but this time its self study at home til abt 5then its off to work at clarke quay... At least get to see some chio bu there...haha. Hmmshld i hit the clubs morrow... its been a while, well actually the last time i really clubbed was when i meet my ex at zouk haha... Well anyway my eyes are fighting to stay open so gd nite cyberspace...

Can't seem to let you go...

2006-10-30T18:56:00.000+08:00

I'm trying my utmost best not to face the reality that you're not by my side anymore, i really need divine intervention. If our lives are so short then why won't you let me love you... Please do not cite my race as a reason cause if you did really love me then i don't see a reason why what your parents think should change your feelings for me... I just wanna run back into yr arms dear girl, if you'd only know how much i wanna be by your side... Always reminiscing the times we've spent together... I've fallen so hard for you, that its so very hard to let go, i know you don't understand. Well i don't blame you.

I guess its my fault i should not have exposed my heart to you.. I won't make that same mistake again... I've kept my emotions in check for so long but you've made me so very vulnerable again... I 've sent you so many msgs only to be replied in your silence,which is quite painful if you don't know, what did i ever do to you to warrant such treatment? Don't i even deserve a bit of respect? I've never treated you badly or anything... I just made the mistake of loving you...

Maybe you don't see the point of replying my msgs, you probably think its better to keep quiet... But it hurts like hell, my heart aches... Everyday i pray that my phone rings and that your name appears on my display and that you tell me that you'll take me back...

Well have fun, you're probably seeing other guys anyway so have loads of fun ok... Wish i could step off this ledge and just forget but memories of you i just don't wanna let go...

My little darling.. Ain't she the cutest!!

2006-10-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

Oh my god, this girl is like so cute... i'm in love with her.. haha : ] Well i'll just watch it to destress from now onwards... whenever i start to think to much this girl will be my life buoy... I dun't know her personally thou..

Happy deepavali

2006-10-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

Well for those who do not know what deepavali is well don't ask me, for i always seem to stupefy. You could say that i've been celebrating this festival for 20++ years now but i don't really know what it actually signifies. Well let me think, its actually called the festival of lights and it signifies the defeat of good over evil, where a demon is slayed and so lamps are lit to celebrate this victory.. well i'm celebrating everyday here man, my lights are always on demonslayer, so well done dude.

But i dun really understand the concept here... well who gives a damn. Its not even a new year and i thought new years are supposed to be like the grand ones.. Cause according to the indian calender there is a certain date for the indian new year, just that i don't know when...

Anyway back to my life, i don't really believe in anything, so i just join in the merry making... by
right i'm a catholic cause of my dad but my mums a hindu... so where does that leave me? My mums the one that takes care of me and my 2 siblings as my parents are divorced and my dads run off after some bitch... I'm not really a firm believer of either but i won't say i'm a non believer... i just think that there is a godly being out there, so sometimes i just say a prayer to "god" whoever and wherever he is...

But like i say i just join in the merry making, anyway deepavali brings about the fact that you have to spend money on new clothes, groceries and bla bla bla... i wish i had money to give to my mum. i'm freaking 23 but i'm still living off her, i feel like a bum. I don't really take money from her i just ask for transportation allowance the rest comes from my part time job. One day i hope i can be financially free, so god i hope you read this : ]

Anyway my mum decided upon herself to get me clothes and mum i love you lots but please do not shop for me haha cause i think that all 4 pieces are quite bad.. well theres one thing i like to do is to don nice clothes and dress well... i know thats bad, guess its just the thing about looking good and fitting in...

anyway boring day... wanted to call her again.. haha yes my dear ms chai, still missing you baby... Like i said there are only 2 times that i've really cried and felt this way in my life one is when my dad left me and the other is when you left me... so i hope you know what you really mean to me cause i've never felt this way about a girl before...

Cruising speed...

2006-10-18T00:37:00.000+08:00

Well things are picking up at school and i'm trying to keep myself occupied so that my mind does not wander off and start thinking about her... I guess i'm just trying to force myself into thinking that she'll be back someday, well will she? or is she already dating other guys? She said that she just wants to concentrate on her studies, well tell me who doesn't want to do well? I also want to do well and i believe that we can still be together and motivate each other on... But i guess you're just giving me excuses to break it off... Sorry to be dwelling on this, guess this is the only output for me...

Anyway as i said things are picking up in school and assignments are starting to find their way to me. I can say that i'm struggling a bit in maths.. well actually basically every subject... I need to buck up but i can say that i'm finding it difficult to motivate myself...

time to buck up....

How to keep your woman happy...

2006-10-11T15:01:00.000+08:00

This is just an email i received from a friend, which i think is quite funny...

Check it out : Link

So it looks like my woman has left me due to my inability to follow some of these tips. :[

pour mon cher narcissus...

2006-10-10T18:51:00.000+08:00

Baby you mean the world to me and i just can't see us apart...
and no matter what you do you're still holding on to my heart...
my world is about to collapse being built around you...
i have never needed anyone so much like the way i need you...

I want to be by your side in everything that you do...
cause i love you so, you know its true...
I just can't live without you, and i want you to know...
i need you like i have never needed anyone before...

P.S : je vous aimer toujours mon cher narcissus, veuillez revenir à moi...

Where is my angel?

2006-10-08T11:49:00.000+08:00

They say there are angels everywhere.... So where is mine?

I could really do with an angel right about now, so god send me an angel. Send me someone to guide me and show me the way cause the roads that i'm walking are all winding, never ending and the lights are so blinding that i know not where i'm headed...

I'm just so lost and helpless and losing my strength, i'm trying to put on this brave front but i don't know if i can do this much longer. I just wanna run, keep on running, as far away as possible. A safe haven where i can just lie and forget about everything, but can i really forget? For whenever i'm alone i tend to think, if i can just wipe you out from my memory. Just like the movie, eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, but they still ended up together. I just want to run back into your arms and fall in love with you all over again, i wish you would just take me back... I really can't get it, all those times you whispered those words to me and you're just letting go just like that i don't know how you can do it... Unless it was all just not true, i'm just so hung up over you girl, you probably don't understand what i'm going through here.

So heavens above, i'm waiting for my angel...

Part-timing

2006-10-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

Well Chef shawn's in the house... Started working part time in the kitchen at a restaurant at clarke quay. Its quite fun and i enjoy myself, i guess thats what you're looking for in a job. Whats even better is that i don't have to spend a cent on lunch or drinks.

Anyway been working for 2 days now and it has been a brand new experience. Basically i deal with the deserts and salads... And i do other stuff like fish and chips, oysters, calamari and stuff like that... The oysters were quite a challenge, i was struggling to get them open, but after a few struggles i finally mastered the technique.

Anyway i'm getting quite paranoid, i'm starting to imagine things.. Things like seeing you with other guys, i'm even having nightmares about it... God help me please, i just can't take this shit anymore...

2006-10-05T08:35:00.000+08:00

Being a sentimental person that i am, i can help it but linger on your pictures that i have on my laptop. Wonderful moments captured in that instant, moments that will last forever. I'm just upset that we don't really have any pictures together. Thou i know having memories can be painful, i cherish the moments that i have spent with you... Unlike your apparent approach of choosing to forget the existence of a certain me.

You could say my tears are drying up now, thou i don't know if i can ever really forget. I really thought that you were the one that was meant for me and now you've left me and there seems to be nothing that i can say or do...

Self motivation..

2006-09-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

Went for a motivational talk yesterday... It was called how to be a people magnet... Yeah you're probably thinking its to attract members of the opposite sex, well the talker did give a few tips thou haha. Anyway this guy is called Christian Chua and he's now 39 and has been financially free since the age of 29. For those of you who do not understand what this means, it actually means not having to work for another freaking day of your life again... Doesn't that sound great, especially in this day and time of singapore where we all just following one another into this so called routine of working and working but for wat? So we can have a better life?

Well i hope i can motivate myself more and be just like him. 1st and foremost i have to be more extrovert as i think i'm the type of person who likes to keep to myself and doesn't like to hang out in too crowded places... Well i guess i have to improve as a person and that theres alot of things out there for me too learn and improve myself in.

Mummy can i get a BMW Roadster pls

2006-09-29T15:15:00.000+08:00

Well finally passed my driving!! Glad to have finally done so at least i don't have to do anymore driving lessons... Haha

Well i thought i was almost a certainty to fail again and find myself at the terminal booking my next test date. Thanks to Mr.Hong(the testor) again for his leniency and to my instructor Mr quek (driving instructor). Well i actually made more mistakes then the 1st test and i was thinking to myself, why the hell am i driving so badly... Stalled on the slope, drifted onto another lane while turning even had a fussy pedestrian who couldn't decide whether to cross the road or not, resulting in me having to do a sudden brake. Anyway its all over now and spent quite a bit...

probably abt 25 lessons, 3 circuits, 2 tests

25 lessons = 25*24 = S$600
3 circuits = S$180
2 tests = S$360
Total = S$1140

Man $1140 of which came from my own savings, from army days of course... Feeling quite broke now.. but well at least its over and now time to get a car haha... Mummy can i get a BMW Z4 M Roadster pls??

On my way...

2006-09-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

Hmm i'm kinda moving on i guess, well kinda... Haha.. Anyway had a bit to drink and called her the other day and was hoping for a chance to get back together, but i guess she's stronger than me. I'll just let you be since thats what you want...

Anyway in view of a lighter note spent some time with the guys on sat, we went down to town and i finally got myself a pair of shoes, from beetlebug and had a 15% discount too thanks to Gang's uob debit card which had no money in it. Well it was tough fight between a shoe from zara and this shoe which i decided upon after much contemplation, probably much to the annoyance of ssfoo and gang. We even had to make a return trip back to wisma after i decided on that shoe...

Also sat down outside indochine and talked about stuff and also about ssfoo's dilemma with girls... Haha man don't worry... I'll be your hitch... Any problems just gimme a call.. Thou i'm feeling down now, i can always help you in that matter or at least hope to help... Well take care everyone, especially you my Narcissus...

suicidal dreams..

2006-09-24T17:12:00.000+08:00

Arghh feeling so damn sian, its 5 o'clock now almost dinner time and i've not had a bite to eat since last night... I guess its just my ego... Kinda had an argument with mum.. well we didn't really argue but well i behaved like an arse. I'm feeling quite hungry now and i dun wanna go out and get something, that'll just be wasting my money... Ah feeling damn down, had a dream about committing suicide too.. Maybe death will bring some regrets to you for not having talked to me and ignoring me... Will it? will it be better off that way? Even mums not talking to me.. Noone is... Well i wonder if this suicidal tendencies will affect me.

2006-09-24T02:43:00.000+08:00

Well so far i've been going on and on about how i've missed you and want you back. What have i done to be treated the way you are doing so right now? Even sending me and sms is hard now? waste of your time? i reallu dunno what to do? Am i to give up on you or come straight up to your house and ask your mum to let me love you, to give me a chance a look beyond whats on the outside? Is it reall your mum or is it just you, i'm starting to wonder? cause if its you i would have appreciated it if you were honest with me... I thought that the way we loved each other that we'll be together and i don't believe it if you tell me you don't love me anymore... Its all too abrupt and i'm just stuck here, in this chapter that just has no ending... I can't really close it, people say come on shawn, time to move on, you shouldn't have trouble getting a girl.. But whats the point? Even if she looks like you it wouldn't be the same... So tell me baby what shld i do?

2006-09-23T15:00:00.000+08:00

Well i'm a catholic but i guess a not very good one at it, i've met a few catholics and asking them which church they go at they say they haven been to church a while maybe its just my generation. Well anyway people say they believe in the bible but do they really? i mean like have they really read the whole bible or do they just believe because its the right thing to do? Next time you see someone ask him/her if they believe in the bible and if he/ she says yes then ask them if they have read the whole bible, i guess they'd prob say no and so this brings me to the point that people believe in bible thou they have not read it...

So they're believeing in something that they have not even read... i guess its the right thing to do.

Its not that i don't believe in God or anything.. I do believe in him or her... I pray to him at times, but the problem is that sometimes people start to believe in God when they are in trouble, but right now i'm going through a bad patch i guess and i try to pray to him when i can.. We all should pray to god for guidance and protection no matter what religion we believe in..

A post for mum and guess who...

2006-09-20T20:15:00.000+08:00

Juz wanna say that i love you mum, for everything that you've done for me... I know that i don't show it all the time but juz wanna say that i love you and hope i can make you proud by doing my best in my studies and what ever i choose to pursue in life and i know you're behind me all the way.

I wish you were here too exuan, by my side. Well what to do i guess you're like my favourite topic on this blog of mine. Don't even know if you've discovered it, well if you do i hope you know that i still do feel for you and i just want you back. I don't see why we can't be together... Just don't tell me its because of my race, i just don't accept that reason for i consider it to be so very lame. Well hoping you'll change your mind...

Been Puppeted..

2006-09-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

Ah so how do i control this so called train of thought... As i sit down here in my room to study, my thoughts once again drift towards the girl whom i thought was to be mine and only mine... I'm angry, so very angry to think that one day another guy will hold her in his arms and love her like i do, and that i will never be able to feel her love again in my life thou i'm always hoping that one day she'll call me and tell me the words that i wanna hear so badly again, when i asked her if she loved me she said she did, if you can tell me that those words aren't painful then i know not what to say, for they still echo in my head... I still love her, i really do. Maybe for her it was a experiment kinda thingy, just for fun, i was her puppet to play hanging by those very strings that she the puppeteer controlled and now has decided to let go, cutting those strings off leaving me spineless and lying on the ground feeling so naked...

Everyday i think about you, i can't help it and i doubt i even cross her mind... I'm trying to keep myself occupied but times like these when you're alone you tend to think even more, thats when depression sets in... And i've no other output except for this blog...

Everywhere i think about you girl in classes, on the buses / trains, just everywhere...

Time to move on... soccer anybody?

2006-09-16T09:36:00.000+08:00

Well i guess its about to time to stop bitching and moaning about my lovelife and to move on... I guess i'll just concentrate on my studies on prostitute myself around for now... If she doesn't wanna be with me and inore me then so be it.

Like they say there a lots of other gals out there and one day i'll hopefully find my very own special one... Haha, like Princess Aurora would put it, someday my prince will come, but in my case a princess. Well i dun need no princes in my life :]

Going for a game of soccer with some of my sim mates...
Anybody for a game of soccer... ??
<------

Take care
Homelessguy signing off..

Funny penalty kick...

2006-09-16T09:34:00.000+08:00

Haha check tis video out... The loser in between the posts... Hhahaha

Gay boy?

2006-09-15T15:44:00.000+08:00

Oh my god, how gay is this guy i literally had goose pimples chattin with him online... Well i guess i have to change his identity to protect him.. but man.... it gets awkward when a guy talks that way i guess...

Mr X says:

shawn says:

yesh\

Mr X says:

saw your friendster

Mr X says:

u seemed really down

shawn says:

oh well

Mr X says:

cheer up dude

Mr X says:

life is full of uncertainty

Mr X says:

just have to take it a day at a time

shawn says:

Mr X says:

after many many years finally found Ms.X through ur account

shawn says:

haha

shawn says:

Mr X says:

she still looks the same

shawn says:

isn;t tat gd?>

Mr X says:

she compliment u alot

shawn says:

huh?

shawn says:

on?

Mr X says:

she will stand by u wen u become a model

shawn says:

huh wat model?

Mr X says:

hugo boss

shawn says:

oh haha

shawn says:

testi huh?

Mr X says:

shawn seriously

shawn says:

she tok cock la

Mr X says:

i feel u got the looks to model

Mr X says:

at least got income

Mr X says:

serious

Mr X says:

chocolate hunk

shawn says:

haha ok Mr.X

Mr X says:

don get me

Mr X says:

not teasing u

shawn says:

yeah ok

shawn says:

heh

I just want bang bang bang...

2006-09-14T10:39:00.000+08:00

check out tis song...

Link

The special day, born 23 years agon on this day..

2006-09-12T21:33:00.000+08:00

What's this special day for, when that special person is no longer by my side? All you could manage was an sms, thou i wished you had called me.. It would have really meant alot to me...

I guess a birthday is probably something not really worth celebrating, it justs keeps you updated to the fact that you're getting older and fatter and in my case the fact that you're not with me anymore, i know i keep whining on and on about that fact so tell me how do i move on?

The 1st person to wish me was an old fren from kindergarten!! We have known each other since the, we went to the same primary school, secondary school and even poly... Nut ever since then we kinda lost contact... I guess it goes both ways... And in total i guess i've got about20 wishes probably less...

Its my birthday and i'll cry if i want to...

2006-09-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

Well it'll be my birthday in abt 1hrs time, 1 hr 8mins to be exact... Schools begun again after last weeks ad-hoc holiday... well i can't really say it was an impromtu one as it probably was in my timetable had i taken the effort to look it up on the student portal, thou i think it wasn't really a holiday, it was more like the school had things to do kinda like in secondary school they gave us breaks when they had to mark papers and stuff... Boy i miss secondary school, thou i was a really a shy boy back then well i'm much better now, i think...

Well so i'm 23 tomorrow and i hate to say this but i'm thining of you again, just wondering if you even remember... And i just realised that all i have of you is that card you gave me on valentines day, the day we spent picnicing under the moonlight, boy i was in love i tell you, thou i could barely walk due to my operation, you went through the trouble of cooking something up, even thou it was probably your maid who had done so and i ordered a gift for you online, the little bear and the flowers... But still its only the card that is within my grasps, nothing else of material other than the memories i have of you and the times we spent together... I wish that i could spent this day with you cause its not gonna be very special without you by my side i know i have my family, but i would like you here too... i know that they will accept you regardless of your race or then again maybe i'm just assuming they will... but even then they cannot tell me who i'm gonna spend the rest of my life with, its my life and i wanna be with somone i love... I hope that that person loves me more than you ever did and guides me the way you did. For if theres one thing i loved is that you always know what to do even when i was lost and you would always have the answer, i know at times i may have difficult so for that i'm extremely sorry.

If i have applied any kind of pressure on you then i'm sorry. I've probably said sorry to you countless times especially after we've parted. i've been angry, depressed, crazy etc etc haha
but i know you have it in your heart to forgive me, i pray that the next guy whom you gonna be with takes care of you and loves you even more than i did and is able to take care and protect you the way that i would have. Hmm but if we're both single at the age of 30, how about we get together?? haha :] ok maybe 30's too young? if i'm 30 then you'd prob be around 27... By then don't tell me you still have academics as your top priority?

ok its now 40 mins to my birthday... Whos gonna be the 1st wisher or does anyone even remember?

It hurts when someone who you thought loved you so very much says : i ' did' love you
Your "beloved" wordsmith signing off...

Missing you...

2006-09-10T12:56:00.000+08:00

I'm probably beginning to sound like a masochist, is that even the correct spelling... Anyway its not as if i'm deriving any sort of satisfaction through putting myself through this kind of emotional trauma. All those times i told you i've never felt this way about any other gal is not just any facade, it was true maybe i feel even more strongly about you now then ever...

I miss you, I want to be with you, I miss you, to hold your hand in mine again, I miss you, your soft lips, I miss you, the taste of your lips, I miss you, the spark of life that's always there, I miss you, the smell of your skin, I miss you, the smell of ur hair , everything about you... Its just driving me crazy, i just miss you so much to the extent that i'm always crying... I know it may not be mutual, so i wish you just tell me to fuck off or something, tell em that you never loved me at all and that it was for fun, tell me you were out with other guys... tell me something that will break me and make me hate you, but i don;t think that i could ever.... Your silence is ever so deafening and is killing me softly...

You tell me you've got your priorities now, your academic life and that your parents blame me for your drop in your grades, but maybe you should explain to them that it wasn't really my fault, maybe partly but i never stopped you from studying and stuff, you were always going out and partying... I will wait for you if you want me too, i wanna be with you, i will work hard n study hard so i can give you a gd life so your parents will accept me... Just for them to be able to look beyond my race and accept me for who i am, for i am someone that will never leave you and will love you forever, i dun need the attention of another women i'll always be by your side.

i just want to have you by me, i know what i want... i'm grateful to have been able to be with you. but i want more i'm hungry for more. I want to watch you sleep at night and wake up to you in the mornings. I wanna see your smile again, i wanna be by your side when you cry, hold you in my arms and console you, to be able to whisper sweet nothings in your ears and to spend my life with you, but i guess it'll never happen... It'll all just be a fantsy never a reality, and in this fantasy i'll hold you and never let go....

P.S : For all those ppl who read this blog, pls mind the emo-ness i can't help it... I'm so tired of crying already , wishing i was back in camp with my buddies at least it'll be easier to get over with ppl around. U'll probably never see this entry but i hope you take care, my heart is in your hands...

Man whore...

2006-09-08T19:23:00.000+08:00

I wan to be a man whore from now on... Working for a month has not proved fruitful enough with such a measly sum of money in my grasps... Maybe whoring myself around will fetch a decent price...

So anyone interested in a personal gigolo-masseur-houseboy-servant?? Hourly rates apply...

Is the picture too obscene ?

well cool ad by the way thou not a very appealing one for men with his dangling little penis there, maybe the product is aimed at men who are not straight... :]

Watch this guy move...

2006-09-08T16:59:00.000+08:00

The evolution of dance, he goes through the various ways of dancing over the last few dacades... Mimicking ppl from the timeline of dance such as elvis, MC hammer, vanilla ice, N'sync and MJ as well. Enjoy.. :]

Best i ever had...

2006-09-08T07:57:00.000+08:00






















So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right...

Men have a problem talking to other men....

2006-09-08T07:29:00.000+08:00

Quote : Men talk, but rarely about anything personal. Recent research on friendship ... has shown that male relationships are based on shared activities: men tend to do things together rather than simply be together.... Female friendships, particularly close friendships, are usually based on self-disclosure, or on talking about intimate aspects of their lives.

Well i think this is so true, most men in fact probably all men do not talk about personal stuff to other guys, it the girls that guys seek to confide in maybe because its something related to the motherly figure kinda thing or maybe its just the " machoism ", you wouldn't wanna sound like a wimp and its probably the ego which stops you from doing so...

Anyway in view of a lighter note, my birthday is next week and you're not by my side, do you even remember?? . Even now i'm thinking abt you, wanna say so much to you yet i have to hold back. Anyways been shopping recently bought a couple of tops even thou i shldn't really be doing so in view of my depleted savings... working hasn't brought in a great deal of money either, juz abt $400 buckeroos. and i've spent 1/4 of it... sighs

Wanted to get a new shoe to but can't decide what to get, wish i could go shopping with you, haha you always had great taste or so you claimed... Haha remember when i first met you... i kept raving about your top, so much so that you told me to go and get one for myself...

Anyway i don't belief that you actually asked me if i had a new gf.. You know how much you mean to me. I will wait for you if you want me to.... I've no interest in being with another girl when i just wanna be with you... Well i mean if you really are seeing someone else i just hopeyou tell me and don't give me hope that maybe someday we can still betogether...

Well see ya, shawn signing out..... : [

2006-09-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

Well its almost been a month now and i'm having trouble getting over her... What shall i ever do? Every single time i talk to her i feel like breaking down... why have i become so weak and fragile... I'm still thinking about her almost everyday, never been so emotionally distraugt before... Even when i try to keep myself occupied i tend to drift off thinking about the times we spent together... I don't wanna be with another gal, all i want is you back in my life...

(3 feb 06 - 07 Aug 06)

Wishing you were here....

2006-09-04T17:56:00.000+08:00

I guess you kinda showed me the way forward to the next chapter of my life, kinda like a guide i guess... But you're sorely missed, wishing you were here by my side. Well if not for you i dunno if i'd ever got down to studying. You gave me goals and the drive to go on and do well, to do well just for you.. so that we can be together and i can give you a good life... And now that you've gone i just feel a little lost... After all the things we've talked about, you and i, none of it will probably ever materialise... So it looks like a premature ending to what was supposed to be a lifetime together, so i guess its " i'll see you around too..." like you said. You say you're worried about your future, well seriously who isn't ?? The standard of living here is just too high and everybody is going on just to try and keep up with it. But together we could have made it through or at least thats what i thought... Now it looks that i'll be walking this road alone. I pray that it leads me back to you.

Anyways i'm just sitting here thinking abt how i'm gonna do without you...

Wishing i'd wake up from this bad dream, everytime i open up my eyes......

Well you probably wouldn't even read this i guess...

P.S: Still Loving you... Please take care of yourself

Goodbye my lover, Goodbye my friend...

2006-08-07T16:59:00.000+08:00

Well heres a song for you...
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Reunited comrades....

2006-08-01T11:57:00.000+08:00

Well here we are at another gathering but this time we had a fair turnout of at least 23 people, actually i should say it ws quite a good attendance... The scheduled place that we were goin to dine was apparently sakae, but they had switched it to Siam Kitchen... Well this was my first time dining here and i would say its quite a pleasurable experience with great ambiance. To those who don't know where this place is located, well its near the Fountain of Wealth at Suntec city.

Well the buffet costs $20 which is quite a gd deal i think considering the wide array of food they have and its quite good too... But as for me i just had something off the ala carte menu due the lack of funds currently dwelling in my bank account... Well had fun and hope to see guys again sometime soon... Definately missing you guys.. : ]

A very small get together...

2006-07-24T17:39:00.000+08:00

Heres a photo of the 4 of us.. :]

Well from what was an original size of a football team suppose to meet up for a kickabout, we somehow ended uo with 4 players plus a fren of si wei which made it 5, but apparently the people who play there do so with 6 in a team so now we were short of a player due to the last minute pulling out Sir Gang... Haha left us high and dry. So it was an hours ride to telok blangah from woodlands, but it was fun thou we lost a few times.

Anyway there was another gathering today which i totally forgot about some of the guys were going to suntec for lunch and a movie, i think it might be nacho libre. Well sorry it slipped my mind...

Well til next time then guys...

Yawns

2006-07-21T18:24:00.000+08:00

Saw this on someones blog, its so cute had to "borrow " it....

The baby in blue seems bored and is yawning.... ^^

Hmmmph close your mouth when you yawn..!!

Bakey time

2006-07-21T17:44:00.000+08:00

Well have been doing quite a bit of baking recently and its actually quite fun but taxing on the stomach thou... And so when i told you yesterday, Ms Chai that i was gonna make something....
Well i was gonna bake more brownies... Yes more to add to the tyre thats inflating around my waist and quite rapidly too.

Up until now i've been using instant brownie mix, so my next batch of brownies will be self made.. Hope it wouldn't be too much of a hastle... You don't have to make the fudge for 1st attempt, the base is good enough the fudge is something extra that you can make... I think :] Not too sure thou let me try it out 1st...

Well i'll be offering some brownies to the ever hungry ghost "fatty Chai" but i doubt she'll even eat one piece due to her insisting that she'll put on weight but hey look at me i've eaten probably a few truckloads of brownies but no extra inches can be seen as of now... When i'm wearing a top that is... Well you can add the brownies to your krispy kremes.. Hehe

Well heres to you Hungry Ghost, this's for you, made specially with love... Haha more like instant brownie mix... :]

Hmm looks delicious doesn't it... These are the last few pieces left in the house, hope my brothers don't find it...

Tomb of boredom

2006-07-19T11:45:00.000+08:00

Well since boredom is etched on my forehead right now, i decided to go through some photos of mine and just revisit some of my past doings... Came across some photos of me in indonesia during my military trip there. Well travelling is something i would love to do, thou unlike some of my more fortunate friends i do not possess an account overflowing with dough for me to be lavishing myself with or in this case go backpacking or any forms of travelling even if it is taking a cab... Hehe well the price of taking cabs has just gone up... :[

The most i can do is to travel across the border and into Malaysia, thats abt as far as i go... No costly plane tickets, not much travelling expenses just a bus across and from there, i could just basically go on foot. Well whats there to do in malaysia, you may ask.. Well i don't know actually... Well all i know is that i just basically buy some movies to watch and maybe a bit of shopping.

But there are few things that i'd like to do someday soon... And i thing you can do it in malaysia like white water rafting and scuba diving. Iwould also like to do bungee jumping and free falling and i dun think they have these in malaysia or then again they might just have... Thou not your average daily activities but i'm just jotting them down to name a few, these are some of the things that i'd like to experience in the somewhat near future... Thou i've jumped out of the plane a few times during my time in the army i'm guessing the feeling of free fall will definately be more exhilarating.. As long as my main and reserve chute don't malfunction that is... Haha i better bring my own personal rigger along...

Well the furthest that i've gone out of singapore will unfornately have to be indonesia or is brunei further?? haha Its not that its a bad country or anything its just that i can't go any further... I would like to go places like china, japan india blah blah blah but like i said before, if only... :[

Well indonesia was a good experience though having been in a somewhat hostage like situation...
And mixing around with the folks there... i liked the place the food was nice but i guess my stomach wasn't used to it or maybe not used to the water. Aigh got a sensitive stomach... Even nasi lemak from changi village upsets my stomach but thats not gonna stop me from having more...

Well when i have time i'll post some of my indo trip photos... Well i actually have the time now but i'm just too freaking lazy...

Anyway you don't answer your phone half the time and still say i never call...!!
Woof Woof...

2006-07-12T13:10:00.000+08:00

It’s been 5 years in the movie since Superman (Brandon Routh) mysteriously disappeared. Apparently he went back in search of his home planet Krypton, encouraged by rumors that his dead home world may not be so dead after all by certain scientists. And returned home to earth after finding nothing. But i didn't understand the part abt "burying something" this was in the scene he was talking to his mum martha kent. Well anyway he returns to find louis married well actually she hasn't tied the knot. And clark i mean kal-el is not too happy. Well anyway he got stabbed by a knife made of krytonite, man i thought he was going to die... Anyway catch the show i think its quite nice. Well probably cause i like superman.

Then there’s Lois’ 5 year old son, Jason.

Hey, didn't Superman leave Lois 5 years ago?

Anyway watched the movie with my truely beloved, hope you enjoyed it. Thou you were super slack... Guess we had a super good time yeah :]

And can you stop making me go crazy in public... Woof woof

Zizou...

2006-07-11T11:38:00.000+08:00

Well the world cup is over and Italy are the champions, but this game will be
remembered forever as the game in which zinedine zidane played his last official game, as he has planned his retirement from football after this tournament.

Zinedine Zidane or Zizou as they call him affectionately is considered by many as one of best soccer players ever and also the most expensive, as Real Madrid had transferred him over for US$66 million from Juventus. I think that the record still stands...

This man will always be remembered as a legend for years to come and even after i'm gone.... He's a winner, a leader and even thou he bowed out of football unceremoniously, he will always be one of the greats maybe even the greatest of the 21st century.

Zidane has captured the World Cup, the European Championship and League Cups and titles in France, Italy and Spain

Apparently the defender whom he gave the headbutt to said something about him...

Some say he called him a terrorist and told him to play for his own country.... Because he's an algerian... Well italy had an argentinian in they're side as well so i don't think they have a case to argue about.

This is from bbc i think, they used a lip reader or something:

"i wish death to you and your family"

and "go f*ck yourself"

Zidane found that his mom was in hospital, just before the match.

he never said anything racist...he still deserved it thou...
-------------------------------------------------------------------
on ITV news, they claim he said

"i slept with your mother last night"

and "your mother is an Algerian whore"

Up there with Eric "the King"Cantona's Kung-Fu kick and Wayne Rooney's nut crunch :]

2006-07-11T11:28:00.000+08:00

Up there with Eric "the King"Cantona's Kung-Fu kick and Wayne Rooney's nut crunch :]

Well the gifs below are something that i took off some websites. Quite hilarious... Its about him and the headbutt which he got red carded for...

Flawless Victory, Fatality...

Back at you zidane

Oh no watch out...

Increasingly bored

2006-07-08T19:42:00.000+08:00

Well my life is so freaking stale and boring that i find myself playing ridiculous online games that make no sense. Well i'm hoping to go out on monday to look for a job but i'd probably be suffering from world cup withdrawal symptoms...

Its France vs Italy... Hmmm quite a tough match but i think the fiesty italians will scrape through... And in the 3rd and 4th placing i would have to go with germany... I dun see the portugese scoring anytime soon wth pauleta up front...

Oh got to go now...

She Loves me... She loves me not.......

2006-07-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

World cup Stickers

2006-07-07T11:51:00.000+08:00

Hmm as i head towards completing my 2006 world cup sticker book i'm left with quite a bit of extras hoping to sell them off but heres where the problem comes in the stickers come in a packet of 5 stickers at $1 so that means 1 sticker would cost about $0.20 rite..?? Well the thing is the cost of buying this stickers fromm other people varies from $0.20-0.50 maybe even more ridiculous prices that i do not know of. And i 'm just selling mine at at $0.25 just trying to make up some loss yes i know that by collecting this book will definately make a loss but its not as if i'm trying to make a profit by doing so...

Well anyway left with 3 more stickers to go...
447: Hidetoshi Nakata
531: Spanish Emblem
562: Some ukraine player

Brownies Galore

2006-07-06T19:23:00.000+08:00

Oh my god this past two days has seen my tummy absorb far too much brownies, too much so that its bound to add an inch or two to my ever increasing spare tyre around my waist. Being so bored i decided to bake some brownies and finished them in like 1 day, two times in a row. I'm still feeling the after effects... Arggggghh....

Well it seems that Chai or chai has been in the midst of her own little battle with buns.. haha crystal jade ones eh?? Well at least you 're constantly exercising unike me cept for the occasional playing of soccer for Mr.Goh cheng kangs team, from which i got injured last sat... THe Arsehole wacked me on the hips with his goddamn knee. Man it still hurts ... Well it seems to be getting better so i'll just rest at home. Well World cup season is abt to be up... And the Epl's gonna kick off soon in Augest, well so is school.

I'm going to have to study real hard... Hmmm maybe i even have a job lined up for me :] . Well that will be in 3yrs time , in the mean time thou i've got to find a part time job... I've got to come with at least 10k for my studies. Hmm where to get that much money?? Yo singapore pools i bet 10k on italy to win the finals....

2006-07-04T09:50:00.000+08:00

Ah its been a while since i blogged thou i'm still officially unemployed and yet to begin my course, i'm getting to lazy to blog thou occasionally i do pop by to check out dearest blog ad of course fav fren. Hohoho still playing CS?? Well i definately miss the good old days where you would come in uninvited throught the backdoor of the bunk : ] Hmm if you really wanna play soccer then we must arrange one before our school term starts if not everyone will probably be too busy and then i guess we'll all just drift apart... : [ how sad rite after 2years of brotherhood this is the way we are headed. I guess everyone has their own lives and things to do, but good friends should never be forgotten.

Anyway so much for joga bonito.... Rooney got sent off for refusing to dive. If it was any other player he would have dived when under pressure by the 2 portugal players. But i'm not sure if he got sent of for stamping on Ricardo Carvalhos balls or shoving ronaldo... But what ever it is i hope it doesn't affect rooney and ronaldo, cause they are the future of Man Utd...

Anyway i hope the bag that i wanna buy is on sale. Oh no shopping again... i have to stop... Anybody got lobang for a part time job :]

How to fail an exam...

2006-06-08T18:27:00.000+08:00

Ever go into an exam without a clue?

Also check out the suicide jumper

Oh no man don't jump dude!!