Ramblings and Burblings

Well i'm on the topic of love again... how boring right.. this fake commercialized 4 letter word...
Does it really exist? Its been on my mind and seeing one of my acquaintances nick on msn, i began to wonder again and the so called creative juices or whatever thats left off it began to mix around a bit and i began reminiscing times with her...

I remember how she used to tell me she loved me quite often and it was me who hesitated on replying because u wasn't sure.. and i don't tell a girl i love her unless i really do cause i know that girls happen to remember everything..!

Thou i did tell this one other girl that but it was not to bed her but she was my ex then and her grandfather was hospitalised and in a very serious condition so i told her not to worry and that i'm sure everything will be fine and told her at the very end that i loved her.. and i dunno why i said that cause maybe i wanted to give a sort of a assurance that things will be fine even thou we know not whats gonna happen, unfortunately her grandpa passed on. But anyway she brought it up when we were about to break up.. so see what i mean?

Anyway as for this girl, she was officially the 1st girl that i really felt what i thought was love...
So what it love anyway? anyone care to enlighten me?

I see it as just an illusion, the manifestation of the mind, makes you see someone as the person who completes you.. But is it strong? Well not really its suppose to surpass all boundaries but the very tiniest bump on this road and everything breaks down...

Ok i said i thought that i was in love... So how do i actually put it in words... Well i'll try..

Well i feel like a kuckoo but i'll try..

1st of all to "love" someone you got to like the complete package... by that i mean physical, mental and psychological lvl.. haha i make it sound so theoretical. Basically i think that its the physical appearance, by mental i mean like emotions wise and lastly their personality...

As for her i loved her complete package, she was everything i wanted.. hehe kuckoo in her own ways.. most of all i was happy with her and i know for a fact that most guys always look around for other girls but i think that when you're in love other girls don't matter no more.. you don't tink about cheating on her with anyone... and when you can't see yourself without her in your life and you want to be by her side 24/7... You never get tired of her and her little eccentrics cause it makes you smile and reminds you that you're in love.. =]

I'm guessing all these are just feelings that can be created by spending time with someone... or maybe i've just never met anyone that i could connect so well with on every level...

I'll just keep telling myself relationships aren't everything and i'll stick to being by myself for now.. Life in solitude seems much better... I miss my youth where noting and noone seems to matter... Wish i could just lie with her one last time and forget all the things that have kept us apart...