Ramblings and Burblings

Ryyan is on the left... please pray for him..












Its gonna come to a week now and as i pen this entry my brother still lies unconscious in the hospital. It pains to see him in this state and i wish i could do more but theres nothing i can possibly do but pray... What did he do to deserve such pain? sometimes i can see tears in his eyes but i wonder if he can hear me or is it the pain he's going through.. i wanna share the load with him... please dear lord ease his suffering and pain, through your grace and will lead him back to us..

We lay in hope that he may awake yesterday but the doctors have sedated him again... His lungs have not been too good, and thou hes been getting better, the progress hasn't been exactly much but something is better than nothing. They might have to do surgery for his lungs n i hope that it wouldn't get to that stage, i'm praying that his lungs get better over this weekend, cause if not it could be a risky operation..

I love him so much if only i can tell him that.. I haven been talking to him either.. i've been so mad at him.. if only he would listen to me... what kinda friends would put someones life in danger.. hes probably the youngest in his stupid good for nothing group and now look at him.

everyones been giving support telling me to be strong for Ryyan and for my mum but how am i to do so? i have to be strong for everyone but what about myself.. ? i don't have an appetite and i can't sleep.. i know i look haggard and stuff but i don't really care what ppl think right now, its the least of my worries....

Another worry is that Ryyan hasn't exactly moved, thou when i was talking to him once i saw his eyelids move.. i hope he could hear me.. He has to be the strongest of them all and hold on and never let go..

i wish i could have been a better brother and i wish that i will get a another chance to be a good brother... i'm so sorry Ryyan that i couldn't be there for you when u needed me but you better get back home and give me that 2nd chance at being that brother..