life and death..

As i lay in bed i began to ponder as always.. i think that at times my mind goes into an overdrive of unnecessary thoughts.. well i'm not talking about a wandering mind as in lying in bed and having flesh fantasies.. i'm not talking of cannibalistic tendencies here but of naked women.. wahaha... well guys do that don't we.. well at times.. when we're deprived..

well the thing that really bugs me is that death is always on mind.. and maybe i'm paranoid but losing someone has made me look at life in a different perspective.. i know that its hard for others to see point of view, thou some have gone through what i've gone through.. losing someone who is so young and who has so much to live for and losing someone who is old like 60+70+ is something totally different one has lived his life possibly to the fullest and the other yet to unravel the mysteries that lie waiting... but i wonder isn't it contradictory..... is life worth living? living this life, chasing material needs... having to go through crap.. so whats there to look forward to? having a family? more money needed as a result? more responsibilities? i know i may be a wee bit negative here but hey cmon enlighten me.. anyone?

well anyway today i caught a movie and in that movie there was this guy who told a story about life.. and basically the moral of that story was that

" it doesn't matter what you do in life.. but in the end we will all meet the same end.. as we are all here on earth for a brief sojourn... [haha i had too use that word! i juz learnt it.. lol..] but whichever path we choose or decisions we make theres really no point in looking back and regretting the choices we make.."

i would like to build my life around that quote and not regretting my actions.. but it will be hard not to have regrets as its plentiful in my life.. maybe i can cut down like go on a diet? =]

well i guess i'll go to bed now... and as for my dedicated readers.. or reader.. how was japan my dear? i miss you waahaha time for msn games again..! stop appearing offline.!