Ramblings and Burblings

Its been a while since my last emo- posting so i guess i should do one about now.. Anyways my late brothers would have been 19th birthday just passed.. and went down to the columbarium where his ashes were held.. Got him a champagne rose.. hope he likes it.. i really hope he's happier where he is.. watching down on us.. i've never been a good brother and i guess i'll never be.. even to my remaining brother..

Well i guess i've been living in my own world of escapism.. Trying to run away or hide from reality, but the truth can't be further then my own bedroom door.. as i open the door daily i see the picture of my late brother staring me in the face... How do i fight my own demons when i'm outnumbered and being pounded all the time.. Facing up to my inferiorities, i struggle to juggle everything.. Not to mention being overly sensitive in recent times.. So how can i escape it all..Reservist was really refreshing.. getting away to a different world... Thoughts of do i really like army life and whether i should have signed up for this..

So i guess maybe i should blow up the coop and get out there.. or maybe i'm juz to comfortable
right now in this world i've built around me.. i'll juz stick to all those comedies and shows i've been occupyin myself with.. at least i'm happier that way.. An escape from reality?