More bitching and moaning...

Well how shall i put it... theres one thing i realise that if the person you loved so much and you thought loved you back, hurt you so badly then why do you need enemies let alone friends? what are friends for? Right now i guess i'm at a point in my life where i'm wondering, do i even need friends? So when that one fine day, where i cease to dwell in this place we call home would i really give a damn about who goes to my funeral? well who gives a flying fuck... Why have funerals in the first place? everyones gloomy and shit just bury the person for gods sake, or might as well just incinerate his dead ass off the earth and save the space... You wanna memory keep a freaking photo why do u need a tombstone? if u realli need one then put it by your bedside... use it as a freaking table if you will..

I love her i really do, i don't care if people say i should move on and look for other gals and that i'll find someone better.. well i might but i just wanna be with her.. maybe i don't deserve her, no theres no maybe, i don't deserve her i'm just a loser with nothing in life... since everything is judged on materialistic possessions then i have nothing... I don't own million dollar assets, i don't have a 5 digit salary, i don't even own shit in fact i'm probably in debt in this god forsaken land...
Well i guessed it just hit me as i was blogging this entry, i'm quite pathetic in fact... I guess thats why you left, since you never gave me a proper reason other then citing my race, i guess thats it then... i'm nobody, nothing in life...