Ramblings and Burblings

Times have been harsh in fact it is time itself which is painful.. As the secs tick away so does the time i have remaining in my miserable life... or i should say the time that approaches for me to make that fortune of mine..

But its hard to go through daily life when every thought in my head is being filled with negative and sorrowful thoughts.. and its really a handful or more a mindful of shit i have to deal with.... like a friend said i wish i could flush it down the loo but then again if it was only that easy.. almost every other day i see my late brother in head.. breathing his last breath, the things he used to do.. i miss him... but if he only knew.. i didn't try hard enough as the eldest and as the "man" of the house.. i wish i didn't have so much responsiblities to deal with... plus i'm broke as can be...

And as the finals approach, i'm as unprepared as i can be.. I make study plans with people whom i know will cancel with me.. fuckin great if you asked me... why i can't i be as independent as i was once... why have i become so dependent on other people...

And as plans go cancelled once again here i sit, in front of my com as any man no needing any forms of foresight can predict...

what else can i be doing? watchin porn? playin games.? chatting? Reading sports news?

To think 20 days remain for teh 1st paper.. and i've yet to complete even the notes... dunnn talkkk abt teh past year paperssssss i wonder if i have time.......... God bless me.... and the soul of my brother... i miss him...

the only thing i'm looking forward to today would be the barca - man utd match.. hope we go through, thou we always seem to cock up at the penultimate stage...